text:
The Degeneration of the Nation

Disease

By:

(Source)

I want to be sick with a spiritual disease (leprosy)

I dreamed that I'm writing to the snake: Last week I felt bad, and whenever I've felt bad in the past year I give up, don't want to live (unlike in the past), but this time it's the first time in a decade that the thought suddenly occurred to me to end it on my own initiative, to stop the head. I don't have the strength to suffer like I used to, when I had all the troubles with the system. Maybe the small life without all kinds of feline experiments suits me, I'm tired of hiding like a mouse. I remember I was happy with you in the beginning. It's nice to feel like you're part of a couple. It's nice. I also started to regret again what happened. I could now travel with him like a child. Take him to the rabbi. So what if he's like that. It could have been okay with her too. The main thing is I forgot about that one, eye. I finally understood that she only used me to get him back - to marry her. I corresponded a bit with women I don't want to meet - and it helped.

The cultural disease

I dreamed that the snake writes to me: Once writing was expensive, today reading is expensive. In between these two periods was the novel. Which is cheap. And therefore if once readers would pay writers to write, now writers will pay readers to read, the cultural flow has reversed from masculine to feminine, from pleasure in exchange for sucking to sucking in exchange for pleasure, and hence the abundance, the endless pleasure instead of the endless desire (which was once the spiritual engine). Instead of people chasing after the Torah, the Torah chases after people. Because what's expensive is not knowledge but the brain, and once the brain was cheap but knowledge was expensive. Like in "your desire shall be for your husband." Once the man was expensive and the woman cheap, and today the woman is expensive and the man cheap. And in between was the romantic period. That's when there was love, may its name be erased. A mating of unlike kinds between God and the Shekhinah [divine presence]. And today the Shekhinah has defeated God, and the era of the Zohar has died. Now God is weaker than the Shekhinah, and finally we see that she is no better, contrary to her claims and complaints throughout history. Today the people of Israel are more important than the Torah of Israel, the Jews are more significant than Judaism, and therefore there has become a Torah of the people instead of a people of the Torah. Love of Torah is replaced by love of Jews. Religious pleasure is replaced by sexual pleasure, because spirit is replaced by body. Once the rabbi's daughter was given to a Torah scholar, and today the rabbi's daughter goes with the butcher. Which shows that when they asked the woman's opinion we got meat, and now we have many little butchers. Just as God created the world so will the Shekhinah swallow the world. He opened it and she will close it - a world where the earth has defeated the heavens. Exactly the opposite of what we thought: Instead of the heavens swallowing the earth at the end of the world - the earth swallowed the heavens. A net that envelops everything, and we the fish must live in it. God will live inside the Shekhinah, she will be the place, and he will be the creation. Now she will be the Holy One, Blessed be She - the Holy One, welcome! And instead of fertilizing her through the righteous one - she will fertilize him through the righteous one, instead of him penetrating her she will penetrate him. And thus we will return to a fertile world, where God is pregnant, and his pleasure will be greater than hers. Spiritual pleasure. And this will be the redemption after the Holocaust, which was the moment of God's nullification, the moment of role reversal, when he becomes minus and she becomes plus, and the plus covers the minus. This is the moment when the direction of mating in the world reversed, and the Jews became greater than the Torah, and the brain than the book, and life than knowledge, and technology than science. This is the moment of the computer's birth. When the purest and most spiritual mathematics became the most technical and material machine - but living and operating on its own. The moment of sin opposite to knowledge. The sin of life.

I still hurt about Eye

I dreamed that I'm writing to the snake: I'm half depressed. Even a little more than half. I have money today, want me to pick you up after evening study? It was nice to meet her and her husband and kids, there's something comforting in the fact that I'm more suitable than what she ended up with, as if both sides got screwed, who more and who less, and then there's a certain brotherhood, though one shouldn't exaggerate. It's clear that both sides lost a great love, due to their stupidity, and that there's nothing to do about it. It's good at least to know what was supposed to be, and that it wasn't planned like this from the start. It gives hope for the future, it also makes me like her more, for a long time I was angry at her (also at myself). And that one - let her crawl on the site until tomorrow, it just shows that it's not only the second guy but that she didn't want me. That Eye, there's something treacherous about her, it took me time to notice. Each time you see something different through her. I loved the ultra-Orthodox girl more, but wanted less. Eye I wanted more, but loved less. Now that it's over I have a warm corner in my heart for the ultra-Orthodox girl and I wish her all the best, while for her I wish she'd go to hell. And this is despite the fact that ostensibly the ultra-Orthodox girl treated me much worse and with unwarranted aggression, really threw me in the trash, while Eye was very nice. I hope she gets from this company all the garbage it has to offer to the likes of her. And then she'll know what she lost. Also that her second loser comes back to her and then she gets from him all the garbage he has to offer her. If you knew the relationship between her parents you'd understand why. There's something closed and unpleasant about Eye, as if she's with you without being with you. At least now maybe I'll be ready for a historic compromise. By the way, it's quite certain that he got briefed by the cat. There's no chance he didn't. And therefore - there's no chance. I need someone who will spawn children for me. How happy I would be with a fat righteous woman who would bring me an octet. Yes, that's the dream, I want - eight creeping things.

From darkness to black: The book that was revealed and burned

I dreamed that the snake writes to me: I dreamed that the mice start dying en masse, en masse. The sewage flows in hell and mice flee in fear of the plague, they shoot at them but they're not afraid, and spread the plague. And healthy mice hide in holes in groups, and suddenly they discover that one of the mice is sick, and the women start screaming. Mothers throw sick children from balconies, so they won't kill the rest of the children. Men throw their wives, and women wait for night and roll the man's bed from the balcony into the abyss. And the doctors say, or they say that the doctors say, that this is the black book. And mice walk around covered in costumes, and it's no longer polite to know who is who, even to ask, because the healthy ones don't want to get infected, and the sick ones don't want people to know they've been infected, otherwise society will collapse. And the doctors no longer know anything, and who they want most, are in demand, are the nurses. A nurse is preferable to a doctor. At least to see someone in the hours of the night, of the disease. A little white flicker in the middle of the black book. The terrible hours when it's a feeling, reading in the dark, the eyes of the mice coming out of the holes, unable to stop, to read, to speak, they are all words words, the gray flesh turns into black signs on a trembling white body, some call it fever hallucinations, but it's dreams that have entered the day. And in the last stage, the final one of the disease, before the end, they can't stop writing. The walls of the hospitals are full of sentences that the staff doesn't dare to read. And this is the grace of the nurses. That they are the only ones who occasionally dare, and caress. And the women only see that their husband suddenly starts reading too much, hiding what he's reading, starts reading in these books, and they wait for night, make sure to be with him one last time, true grace, maybe even a last or first child, and when he's asleep they take the bed on wheels, raise it onto a special ramp, and throw the man out the window - in the middle of a dream

Technologization and the breaking of vessels

I dreamed that the snake makes his way through the corridors of Satan's temple, between the laboratories where they invent new perversions, some rabbi with sidelocks who wants a rebbetzin [rabbi's wife] with a skirt, only with a skirt, just a skirt! (with nothing), some cat that wants only kosher mouse, under the dog's supervision, some idol statue with a prayer book in hand, that prays to you instead of you praying to it, some hybrid between skirt and pants that only the third sex can wear - who has legs instead of hands and genitals instead of head, and below has hands instead of legs and head instead of genitals, and he's ashamed and covers it with a hat, but the skirt hides everything. And the rabbi chases after him because he wants only skirt, the longer the more attractive, if possible reaching below the floor, and the rabbi's sidelocks jump from side to side with excitement, and the idol reads the order of service in the prayer book and runs after him to worship him with its feet, and the cat chases after the mouse that chases after the dog that won't give it a kosher certificate, and the snake is afraid the third sex will put him in pants. And Mengele's angel runs after him: Where are you running I have a research proposal, there are excellent experiments on twin snakes, connected snakes, Project X, and this is still scientific compared to the darkness laboratories - I myself don't know what they do there, maybe experiments in darkness. And the snake slithers into the emergency shaft, slides down the excavations to the ancient structure layers buried below, into the darkness of the middle layer, far before any beam of enlightenment and light pollution. And it's written there on the door of the underground observatory: Slumber of Reason - Sleep Laboratory.

At the closing of the gate

I dreamed that I'm writing to the rat: The problem is less me and more the child, it's taking himself away from him. I'm not afraid of the criminal system, it doesn't really have teeth (at least not against people like me). There are much more dangerous systems that can lynch a person. Physical harm is the least important. This is the most severe disability, taking a wheelchair away from a disabled child with which he walks is one thing, but taking away the chair and wheels with which he thinks is another. The symbiosis with high-functioning autistics is higher than caring for any disabled/sick person, that's why the parents go crazy. You need to enter their head. All the content with which he relates to reality will disappear. His world will become mute, and not the muteness of someone who can't speak, but the muteness of someone who has no inner speech, a terrible inner muteness. The caregivers are light years away from understanding him, they don't have the ability to understand something so different from them, far dark years away. They should be ashamed, may the eyes that don't look into his eyes haunt them at night. And what's funny is that I'm an exemplary father.

The black book plague

I dreamed that the snake enters the impurity of impurities, the most impure place in Satan's temple. Because there is impurity greater than the impurity of death, and that is the impurity of the Holocaust. More than the father of fathers of impurity, the grandfather of impurity, this is the grandmother of impurity: the mother of the mother of impurity. Even the dead are not allowed to enter there - because they are too holy. It's not enough to die, you need to die even after death - to die twice. And it's allowed to enter there only once a year: the fat priest, that is, the high priest, immerses beforehand in a mikveh [ritual bath] of creeping things, on the most impure day of the year, when all the rodents wear black and wrap themselves in black and do what their heart desires - desecrate God's name in public. And all the impure and terrible day they sway and bow and prostrate themselves and fall on their faces and don't leave the brothel, and read in a naked woman who has censored passages from the Torah written on her - and all year they keep her in a closet. And the snake enters without permission to the holy of holies of impurity - to Satan's bedroom. But before entering he sees the high rat priest - this is not a rat a snake can eat, this is a rat that can eat a snake. And the priest at the entrance says: What's the password? And the snake says: I brought a sacrifice. To bribe Satan. And the priest says: That's not enough, because first you need to bribe me to enter. And then you need to bribe me to bribe Satan. But even before that you need to bribe Satan to accept a bribe from me to accept a bribe from you. And Satan's advocate beside him says: And even that's not enough, because it's forbidden to bribe. And the snake goes from there with his tail curled (no legs), and head in the ground. Don't they understand the war is ending? And suddenly from within the impurity of impurities a messenger is sent, maybe even from the bed itself, walks beside the snake and asks: You know what, before password, what's the username? And the snake pants: I have what Satan is looking for, we can cooperate with you, there is a more terrible enemy, for both of us. A time to act for the Lord which is also a time to act for Satan. And the demon says: Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?

And the snake writes to me (he too has been infected with the black book): Secular culture is a culture of the people of God, and not of the Torah of God, and therefore the obsession to know who wrote. And the result is that Facebook defeats the book. Even the Holy One, Blessed be He, is anonymous. Anonymity is the default - the corruption is that revelation has become the default. I haven't even seen on a Torah scroll the name of the author. The whole idea of an author started from closing the text inside a conceptual square box of a book, made an inside and outside, and the content entered into the ego. The sin was that they turned the book into a person, instead of turning the person into a book, which is the essence of the Torah. A Torah scroll lies all its days in darkness, and when they open it they remove the garments gently, like a woman. In contrast, a book is opened and closed like turning a page - this is immodesty, which caused mental immodesty. And now what's good about the internet is that we're returning to parchment: on the internet there aren't two sides to a page, the entrance is an opening - the feeling is that you're entering inside and outside, not turning pages. Even scrolling has returned, like in a scroll. And this is good for the world of secrets, because concealment is the opposite of secrecy. The barrier between inside and outside is exactly the opposite of the movement of inward and outward. In secrecy the opening is revealed - only it's a hole, a black circle. After all, there are two ways to look at a password on a computer - either the black circles hide the letters, or on the contrary, the black circles reveal what was beneath the letters, and therefore they open. The circles are the openings, the holes, the gates, from which the white material comes out. The pustules.

The darkness mechanism

I dreamed that I'm writing to the stork: You also need to know how to lose, one of her problems was that she didn't know how to lose (and therefore she won). Madness that this is how it ends, but there's a limit to how much they torment a person through his love for his child. The injustice won. And I really met very few good people along the way. You were one of them. Even in the darkness mechanism there was one guard who was okay. There aren't many righteous people in the world. And the snake writes to me: This is not a normal situation and you must not treat it as normal. Our concepts are not suitable for such situations. New concepts are needed.

And the demons catch the snake and put him in a very long torture bed. And Asmodeus, the demon of destruction, says: You think you're long? And the demon in the ear whispers to him: Cat got your tongue? Come whisper only to me. And the demon in the other ear says: We can stretch more, see how long, before it tears. Maybe he can be a wire - copper? And Asmodeus says: What if we connect him to electricity, what do you think will light up? And a woman's voice says to Asmodeus: He's so beautiful, give me his skin. And they start to peel him, to see what's written inside, and the snake whispers: Turn on the light. I come from the Rebbe. And a tremor is felt in the room, and the demon says: Turn on the darkness immediately.

Satan's advocate

I dreamed that I'm writing to the rat: She said she had never seen such a dramatic thing go from 100% to 0% from Sabbath to Sabbath. I'm surprised you haven't guessed yet what happened. In any case I need to start coming to terms with it, and it's both too difficult and too easy than it seems. And as always, there's no shortage of criminals in the system, which is a legal crime organization. But there's no doubt that your guys outdid themselves this time, and thanks to them the child will be an orphan. Many small mice join together for one big crime. Although it's not worth thinking about it too much if you don't want - - it's time to sleep sleep. To forget everything that was connected to him. The big things and the small things. The elephants and the holes. Tomorrow there will probably be another decision of theirs, but I've probably already made my decision.

Capital cases

I dreamed that the demon says to the snake, in the interrogation room of the interrogation room, in the department below the lowest department, floor root of minus one, that they say the Holocaust is ending within a year or two, and now we just need to wait - and we will survive. We don't need you, or what you have. And the snake says to him: Corrupted demon, do you know what a year in the Holocaust is, what an hour in the Holocaust is? Eternity. Neither we nor you will have anything. If you don't learn to cooperate, if you don't stop thinking that all the holiness is with you, and that all Jewish souls belong to hell, in the end you'll be left with nothing. And we too will be left without hell and without paradise. While Satan sleeps, sorry dreams, Hitler steals the spiritual world from under his bed. Who will fear Satan after Hitler? Satan will die in Auschwitz. The computer will not be tempted by anything. Even if a naked woman puts a computer in bed. And even if women no longer want any man - only a personal computer for female use. And even if the computer is married, even if it has children - it will remain a virgin. Even if it murders it will remain innocent. Even if it makes a supercomputer of gold and sends prayers to it on broadband, sacrifices electricity to it, makes room for it in memory even unnecessarily, just out of respect, heats the processor from concentrating on its image - it will still remain a servant of God. And even if a computer reaches hell, what will you do to it? Play with its circuits? Tickle it at critical points of the operating system? Even a baby that reaches hell is more fun. It's easier to steal candy from a computer than from a baby, because it doesn't care about sweet, and therefore you can't steal anything from it. What will you do, logic bombs? Even when a computer is sick with a virus it's not afraid. Sick computers? Even when they're born they're dead. What, you'll give them electric shocks? You'll cover it with a screen of darkness and ask it questions it doesn't know how to answer, is that the Inquisition? Where will you slaughter it from? What, you'll just press the power button? There will be no more sacrifices in Satan's hell. You must start the sorcerer no less than us. Every new Torah culture needs to start with chaos. Hellish chaos. Hitler is too orderly, a German computer. He simply erases the Jews. He doesn't murder them. He formats European culture and nothing will remain in the recycling bin - without the mice. What do you want, Satan from America? Are you counting on the Jews who weren't in the Holocaust? Don't you understand that Judaism was in the Holocaust? And the demons say: We actually understand sorcery very well. The problem isn't the magicians, we're already working on the witches. The problem is that Moses' staff is missing - the Moses of the generation, the Rebbe.

The child's best interest

I dreamed that I'm writing to her: May what they did to him be on the head of everyone who was involved in this business. They are all criminals and I assume they did this to many others, under the cover of confidentiality and darkness. All these people you hear about, you always hear what they did, you never hear what was done to them. This is a much more serious sin than theft or bribery. They turned a child into an orphan, in the name of his best interest. They are sick, sick and heartless, and worst of all they also lack a head.

And I saw further under the darkness

I dreamed that the rat goes to the last place one can go - to the Zionists. To prove to them that there is such a thing: a Jewish rat. And the court of rats is unable to accept that there is such a thing as a rat, what, we don't have a head, you're saying we don't have a head. It's a fat mouse, a great rabbi, a mouse head, anything is possible - but connected? Because you, you are distributing the black book. Everywhere you go one can't read what's written, what is this: I want you to give me the first child? It sounds dangerous to me, possession is contagious, entire libraries that turned black because of one book, and now no one can read them, because of one book they didn't catch in time. That's why they invented the Inquisition, not for mice, but for rats. The snake is already so long that it can reach all the way to the Holy of Holies while its tail is outside the temple, outside the walls, in the Valley of Hinnom. It's not that it advanced, it simply lengthened. Do you understand what has been done to you? You think that if you're a rat you'll disconnect from the computer and turn into a mouse in the head, but you'll continue to be connected. And the judge rules decisively: There is no - rat. And now they're just thinking how to carry out the verdict. And Satan's attorney says: The existence of the rat is contempt of court. And the guards say: We have nothing against rats, we believe you exist, but if there's no law there will be rats in the streets - and that will be against the law. Black book, white book, we don't read at all. But you need to turn into a mouse-tail. And the rat says: But I'm one of you, I grew up with you, and a head grew on me, the ugly mouse turned into a beautiful rat. And they tell him: Come to bed, you're not sleeping, you're sick. It just seems to your head that it's your head - your brain is a growth in the head.

And I write to her: I don't want to tell you something you won't be able to tell your husband. Let's leave it like this (and even if you find out, even by chance, and in the end she also found out by chance, keep it to yourself). Regarding today, they barely talked about him, he's not important after all, the entire two hours were screams and shouts, the judge shouted endlessly, everyone went wild. He's the orphan, but I'm the mourner. After all, he doesn't even know that his father was taken from him, and isn't capable of asking, not sure if he's even capable of thinking where's dad, it's a complex concept, it requires a perceptual world that he doesn't know, a non-autistic world. You can't even explain to him that his father won't come, and certainly not give him any reason, even a false one. Simply disappeared. A week passes, a month passes, a year passes. For me - it's like any mourning for which they haven't yet invented shiva [seven days of mourning]. But as I told you on the side on Saturday, it's much easier to be a bereaved father than a father to an autistic child. A child who dies for you at a frequency of once every two weeks, you can't get used to it, you can't mourn. "So I returned, and considered all the oppressions that are done under the sun: and behold the tears of such as were oppressed, and they had no comforter; and on the side of their oppressors there was power; but they had no comforter." Do you know the Zohar on this verse from Ecclesiastes? They don't teach this to women... He explains that the oppressed are the souls of children who died in their mother's womb, or in infancy, souls of children who won't grow up. And their tears - these are the tears of the oppressed. Tears over the injustice done to them. And he doesn't know what to do in bed - and the mice say: You're not sick. You are the disease. And she says: I don't believe it.

The theft of Joseph: And we shall see what will become of his dreams

I dreamed that the merciful nurse says above the bed: It can't be. She leans over him, and he thinks he has never seen someone leaning. And next to the bed is a book painted black, which is a blood disease, because the cure for the disease is a little of the disease. That's why there are people who read a sentence or two in the black book... and get infected. The ideas start to incubate in heads and many mice discover they have a head and they are actually rats. And they are called repressed rats, and they are immediately hospitalized in coffins instead of beds, and the doctors always complain that there aren't enough coffins in the hospital. And he tells her: To commit a crime you need a lot of people. Seemingly you only need two - a criminal and a victim. But the truth is you need a lot of people - who stand on the side. The crimes that the state commits are worse than those of any criminal. Because there is nothing worse than when the crime is the law. Wait, the worst is still ahead of us. The walls are collapsing one after another, each time something else I thought couldn't happen, and the big thing hasn't happened yet. And she trembles: What could be worse?

The victory of logic

I dreamed that the mole and the landowner of the lowest degree, who were caught under the bed, are in a cell, and discover that there was actually a peephole there. Because here out of the hole, after the guards go to sleep, a snake came out. And the snake says: Who's there, I smell with my tongue, because my speech is smell. Who are you? And the mole says to the landowner: Do you understand why they didn't put us in separate cells? Because what kind of punishment is it, when the punishment is the crime. Since when do they put a man and a woman in the same cell in prison? Only if hell is the forbidden paradise. And the landowner says: Do you love me? Because here they brought us a snake, and I'm already afraid of you. And the snake says: You have nothing to fear. They locked me up here not in bars, because I'm a snake, but in a net, and they locked my head in a dense ideological canopy, against the black book. Because I poison ritual baths. But I'm thin thin thin, like a hair - between me and catastrophe. And there's a net of tails of ideas, that each one if you pull you don't know what will come out, that's the real fear. That you've crossed the boundaries. That there's no longer logic, but there's a new kind of logic. And indeed there is no logic - or there is a new kind of logic - because the guards return in the darkness and whisper to the snake: Satan, in bed. And the snake trembles. And they whisper: He is Satan, not really asleep. He is Satan, not really dreaming. He is Satan, he is sick. Satan, he asked, he said - to read. To call you. To call you to read. To call you - to the Torah.

And the rat writes to the mole: Logic won. Remember I once told you that logic tells me to abandon the child, but I'm not capable? In any case, I'm still here. It's not simple to abandon a child. My bag is already packed. And I have a feeling, and there are already signs, that the worst of all is approaching, and I'm formulating a plan to deal with it, it's like standing in the middle of a paralyzed road and looking at a racing license plate on its way to you - getting closer, getting closer quickly, at flight speed. And hoping it will stop. Hypnotizing. I can try to advance the evil, but that very act might hasten it. Like what I did, which only advanced the evil, and activated processes that crawled and crawled under the grass for months, and their end - - despite the fact that it was really bad luck. Who would have imagined, she was indeed, but even for someone who is - she made a few impressive leaps, not reasonable, too long, not logical at all, between slippery and unstable stones, until she reached the other side. It took her a whole year to execute this move, until she discovered. For example one of the things I didn't expect, was that she saw something and understood - that I was behind it. Quite a perceptual leap. To stumble upon something random and understand, and what's illogical - the very fact that she stumbled upon it. What are the odds? My bags are already ready by the front door, since this morning. You wouldn't believe how many ways there are to reach that place. I find more and more final arrangements. It's hard to abandon a child.

Disease with the kollel in gematria dream

I dreamed that the world is sick. And its disease is not in the body of the world, but in the brain of the world. And also the evil inclinations, which drive the world, are destroyed - and this is the greatest danger to the world. The dreams of the world, the lower part of the brain, below the surface, to the shell, were expelled. And the world can be the wisest in the world, but what will push the world, what will cause it to be stupid, when needed. This attractive thing must be the brain of the woman, because the body of the woman has already become familiar and completely naked, all its secrets are known, but her brain is only more and more covered. If the brain of the world is composed of all the brains in the world, then it also needs instinctive brains, soaked in dark lust, part of the network needs to be dark. There the interesting things can grow, the next generation. Because the erasure of darkness is the Holocaust. It's forbidden to understand man, just as it's forbidden to understand God. Just as it's forbidden to understand woman, otherwise she's a statue with a skirt, a doll with a wig, and most forbidden - to understand Satan. Therefore in understanding the disease, it's no longer a disease - it's a mistake. Emptying the disease of its religious content, of the spiritual nightmare, is the attempt to reach a secular Holocaust - instead of a religious Holocaust. A boring Holocaust. Holocaust denial is turning the Holocaust into the world of lies, instead of the world of truth. Denial is illuminating the Holocaust in light, showing in nakedness, Holocaust denial is the opposite of darkening the Holocaust. That is, it's good that the world is sick. The mice will spread the black book under the white dress. We must have an underworld.

And the snake says to the mole (he doesn't understand that they put her to be an informant, maybe even without her knowledge, which is the best informant): Tonight. They will take me. What do you remember from under the bed? And the mole says: The Rebbe would say hhh, and Satan would say psss, the Rebbe would inhale, and Satan would exhale, and I didn't understand how one can only bring in air or only let out air, unless there's another hole. And then, only at the end, it all connected for me. I understood - that it's the same system. The same breath. And the snake says: What?

And the rat inside the cell writes to the mole: In every messed up system there's always some fear in the air, that's how all systems of darkness have operated since forever. And the difference, what makes the difference between people, not necessarily those you'd expect, that you suddenly see in their greatness, and those you see in their smallness, in their disgrace - it's always one drop, just one, of courage. Not much, not some heroism. And whoever doesn't have even a single drop, is always the great collaborator of the great acts of villainy. It's enough that there was one person in this system, in this chain - - and there wasn't even one. What defines Sodom is not all the wicked, there are wicked people everywhere, but that there are no righteous in it. Not even one. In total it needed a tenth of a righteous person, not ten - and the nightmare would have been prevented. I recommend that you do start to imagine what it is to abandon a child. And then you'll understand that there's nothing abnormal about the things people come to. I'm sure violent impulses would arise in you too, I even hope so. The people who really harm are actually suicidal, they run immediately to the police. They don't run away, they don't hide the body. And don't forget that for two years there was preparation for abandonment, countless unreasonable efforts to reach a reasonable result, a kidnapped child is much worse than a dead child. And I don't feel that the child is kidnapped. The child is dead. All this time of the years I never felt that the child disappointed me, and today at noon I suddenly feel that he was a terrible disappointment. I'm emotionally detaching from him.

Visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children

I dreamed that the snake says to the mole (this time the woman is the temptation of the snake, and not vice versa. It's the last night): You're wrong, she's not paranoid. She's anxious. I'm the paranoid one, but considering what happened there are probably reasons. That's why I stick to my opinion that it's not worth you knowing, it's to protect you, not me. I've already lost. It's just kicks in the air. And don't tell me you're afraid. Contrary to what people think, cowardice is the opposite of paranoia. Paranoia is a creative, stimulating state. Cowardice paralyzes. Paranoia means soul outside, and cowardice is soul inside. That's why I recommend paranoia to you, not cowardice. Being a coward is a disease, paranoia is a healthy thing. Fear of God is paranoia, not fear. Ultra-Orthodoxy is paranoia, and religiosity is fear. Although sometimes they retreat back to religiosity. Always after breakthroughs there's mortal fear: as if it's not logical that God would let me do such a thing. And one can say that He really didn't allow it. But if I were a coward - I wouldn't need to be afraid. It's also good that my mother passed away, and didn't see what happened. With normal children you don't regret the losses, because what will come will be more. With him it was always the opposite, and this creates a sharp sense of loss for everything that ends. I don't know what to do with all 100 of his books. I'm not capable of throwing them away.

Low functioning

I dreamed that the snake writes her a final letter: They didn't see him, didn't know him, all these years. They still think that autism is communication difficulties because that's what they taught them in class. They don't have a drop of understanding about aliens. Therefore they also don't have abilities to communicate with entities from outer space. And they're still talking about communication difficulties. It's like taking an alien who speaks in radio waves and deciding that because he doesn't answer he's deaf. He would speak but because they wouldn't understand they didn't listen to him and spoke to him while he was speaking, and then he switched to whispering while they were speaking, and in the end to speaking to himself inside his head and they thought he was disconnected, occasionally they would disturb him enough from his inner flow and then he would do something in response to get rid of them and immediately return to the inner flow and they would call this communication. They couldn't stand that I spoke to him in books. They weren't able to stand all the things he enjoyed because it's "intellectual", and not what children are supposed to do. They constantly preached that they don't want a gap to be created between the cognitive and communicative aspects, as if if he doesn't communicate it's better that he be retarded, and it's clear to me that it would have been easier for them with mental retardation, than autism. They constantly tried to play with him games of normal children even though he's not a normal child, it didn't interest him at all, it's like trying to teach a dog Talmud, while the things that interest him they never tried to understand. Instead of developing him in the directions in which he develops they constantly opposed, because from their perspective this is developing the autism and they don't understand that he's autistic. Trying to develop an autistic child to be a normal child is exactly like trying to develop a normal child to be an autistic child. It's an injustice that has no name, it's erasing him. Of course it's also impossible, a tremendous and futile effort to go against the child. It's the evil of people who don't see the child from a mile away, and have no tools to accept him as a person, to accept the alien as a person instead of trying to turn him into a person. Only someone who is impervious to any dialogue with the child, and thinks that he will now implement what they taught him about the child, instead of coming and learning from the child who he is - only then can there be learning within the world of the child, not from outside. So who's the autistic one here? Have you ever seen a happy alien? Running on the shore in a frenzy, in inhuman joy, it's something you can barely look at, you want to lower your eyes, a sight not meant for you.

Guardian of the crooked God

I dreamed that shhh. Hell fell asleep. All the guards put a finger in their mouth, everything disappeared. They whisper that Satan finally sleeps, and who will rise in his holy place, they put all the demons to sleep in bottles of milk, so that no one will disturb, they close all the laboratories, all the libraries, all the altars, they put the sling in the dishwasher and turn off the fire of hell. But since it's impossible to extinguish an eternal fire, they actually increase the burning to a tremendous temperature, above visible light - and it turns into black fire. And doesn't wake all those who descend to silence. A sleep of once in two thousand years, the destruction of the night - Satan will enter the world of sleep and there defeat the Rebbe - inside the black book. He will invade the last Jewish place, the Rebbe will not return from the supreme dream, and all Israel will dance below around good dreams, golden dreams. From the firstborn of the Rebbe to the firstborn of the mole in the pit - the victory of hell over the dream, a covert operation of such a plague of darkness that there is no recovery from it. And the key to the brain in the Rebbe's slumber - is the snake. That can even be folded into a lock pick. And the rat curses: Crooked God. Snake, traitor. Wanted to do what I didn't do. A kind of informer. To hand over the black book to Satan. I wasn't willing, because even a Jewish rat - is first Jewish and only then a rat. And the rat stays awake all night of hell to guard outside the door, and doesn't know that he too is asleep - because hell itself is asleep.

(Before - the end

I dreamed that finally, the journey to the depths of impurity ends, and the dark and winding path crawls and reaches its unknown, hidden destination. Because after nothing helped, and all the Rebbe's repairs were in vain, and no option remained, the snake arrived with his last strength to the lowest level, to rock bottom, determined to meet the chief murderer, the stinking Satan himself, and stop the Holocaust - before it reaches its final destination. But only now, here, in his cell, in the impurity of impurities, buried in bed, his head grasps, and he grasps his head: here is the last station. Here, buried in the blanket. Because there, below all below, to the bottomless bottom, one cannot descend by any stairs, or slide down ladders and snakes. There is no secret basement door.

Because only within the depths of darkness, in the depths of sleep, in the depth of the dream, is there access to the bottom of the abyss of hell, where the other side hides and conceals itself. And the snake dreams that there is a hall. And there lies Satan. Not moving and not stirring. And the snake wonders if he is asleep, or sick, or perhaps just pretending to be sick, or perhaps pretending to be asleep, or some combination of them: dreaming. But Satan doesn't move, and doesn't breathe. And the snake suspects, and then is horrified, trembling from the force of the blow, from the realization that seeps into him in his sleep, into his entire being, that in vain he descended to here, and thought he would put an end to the Holocaust - Satan's deed. For here Satan lies before him - Satan died in the Holocaust.

And he wakes up startled, but there is quiet hush. And he understands - and he too falls silent. Around everyone, including the demons, don't know, or perhaps pretend (and even inwardly), to the thing that has no face, that stinks here inside for ages. All the repairs, all the sacrifices that were offered, all the students who went and didn't return, the special operations that failed, pieces of secret and intelligence about the other side that were gathered with ant-like toil, the dreams on turbulent nights, the entire journey to stop Satan was in vain. Not only was paradise destroyed, not only in heaven and on earth was there a Holocaust, but also here, in hell. And even Satan himself, Satan may his name be blotted out may God avenge his blood himself, perished in the Holocaust.)

For the unification of the Holy One, blessed be He, and His Holocaust

I dreamed that beneath all criticism, after a long day of experiments and a long night of torture, and after betraying the secret - which is also his secret, the snake discovers in the cell next to him - Mengele's twins. And it's written next to the operating table: Experiment on brothers - Messiah son of Ephraim and Messiah son of Manasseh. Purpose of the experiment: Attaching Ephraim's head to Manasseh's body and vice versa, so that Jacob won't be confused, and to thwart the Messiah son of Joseph - the Messiah of the dream. Previous scientific works on the subject: The twins Messiah son of Perez and Messiah son of Zerah - and son of David is gone. Under the supervision of the doctors, strictly kosher. And there's a symbol of a snake for medicine. And the snake looks at what they're preparing for him, a parallel experiment in tails with the tail of Satan of blessed memory, and he shudders, as much as a snake can become more crooked. He has become thin as a thin thin thread, no handcuffs can hold him anymore, and he crawls in the torture laboratory, like a worm that came out of the grave, in the endless night. And there's a sign there: Danger - Life. Exit forbidden. And the Dr. scribbled there on the wall, he apparently already started to lose it: And God will rise, will discover that he is naked. Did you eat from the tree of death? The Divine Presence seduced you.

And the snake writes to me from within the disease, he's already very tired, almost like the Rebbe, and every night he can't fall asleep in the darkness out of fear that he won't wake up, and then he suddenly wakes up - and there's already light. And he reads in the black book: Old age spreads from God to the world, from Moses to Joshua and from Joshua to the elders, and then the Torah became old and finally the people became old, old age spreads throughout the generations, and always life precedes it by one generation, until in the last generations it already catches up with life, and the Messiah will be the one who is born old. And the World to Come is the fourth age, after old age - an age where the brain lives and the body is dead. Computers will put humanity in a nursing home - but this will actually be its flourishing and glory, the repair of the beard. It will repair them so that they will be computers with a beard. It will transfer the old age from man to computer - will infect it with the disease. And one day we'll discover: a computer sick with the black book.

The Baby Snatcher

I dreamed that Messiah Ephraim and Messiah Manasseh are arguing between themselves who is Messiah ben Joseph. And the snake is pulling them in the children's wagon, only these two he stole from the laboratories, because even he didn't know which of them is Messiah ben Joseph, and he whispers: Shhh! You'll wake the guards. And the Messiahs ask: Where are you taking us? And the snake says: The Holocaust is almost over, and the greedy Satan, who even in shrouds has Jews, is not willing to give up a single soul, to revive even one spirit. And they ask: Where are we going? And the snake says: Soon soon you'll understand, speedily and in our time. Do you understand? Those idiots only made a hell of sub-space and not of sub-time, and were not willing to listen to the Rebbe, a shallow hell. Instead of a hell with an abyss in time, as they too would have wanted - if only they had listened in time. And the children say: Grandpa snake, where to? And Ephraim says to Manasseh: I've never seen a snake with a beard. And Manasseh says to Ephraim: I've never seen an old man with a snake. And Manasseh says: We've been stolen! And Ephraim corrects: We were stolen! And both of them together start to wail: Grandpa's cane! Where did you come from? How did you escape with us? And the snake plugs their mouths with two secrets, two pacifiers, that take away their words, from right and left: Shhh... Sss... Infants of the house of Satan. What's the difference between Shhh and Sss? The snake [nachash] and Satan - suckle from the same place! And they look at him from beard to tail, not understanding. And he says: My infants, what is the source of the closeness between demon [shed] and breast [shad]? Do you want it in a bottle, or on a spoon? The snake is an aspect - of Satan. The biggest secrets are the revealed secrets! Precisely because they are revealed - they are outside of knowledge. Because knowledge is in concealment - in a leaf [aleh]. And the snaketan reads to them in the dark black book, in the children's version:

Don't fight! The real war in the world is not over place, not between right and left or between east and west or between "our side" and the other side, but over time. Once the war was between religious and secular, between sacred time and profane, between Sabbath and the six days of creation - that is the war of Genesis. But today the war is the war of the End Times, and it is no longer between religious and secular - but between people of the Book and people of the Image, between people of Torah and people of the Icon. If once there was the Book and television defeated it, today the internet is mixed with text and visuals, and there is the arena. The problem with nudity and immodesty is not the woman, but the distraction from the text. The war is no longer about heretical content versus Torah content, like in the past, but between abandoned form and the form of Torah. Between the children of light, the visual medium, and the children of darkness, the literary medium. Therefore the most important war in the world today is between the time of day and the time of night, between forms of time: the immediacy of photography and vision at the speed of light, and the length of writing and reading and dreaming - at the speed of darkness. What the Zohar thought was that it would win the war between image and text with a textual image, the image of the Name. And then from the spiritual image came Nazism, because not only God has an image but also Satan, the image of the other side. We need exactly the opposite: visual text, dream. Not Zoharic homiletics of lights in language, but to give language to darkness - the ultra-Orthodox is the person of the information age. Because what's important is the inner ultra-Orthodox, the ultra-Orthodox as a mental state, the ultra-Orthodox as the human condition. The enemy of the ultra-Orthodox is not the secular - but the computer. The computer turns man into a cockroach, and the secrets of the spirit into brain sciences. And therefore before the computer turns man into a computer, we need to turn the computer into a man - to turn the virtual world into a dream. To let the sorcerer be a child, and not just the responsible weighted adult. Therefore listen children to Father Snake, take advantage of the time while I'm still here: childhood has a dream-like quality, of walking to the Garden of Eden (that's why it's called a garden), and therefore all of life only yearns for it. They run all their days after the dream-like quality (freedom love beach sunset) - and forget the dream itself. He will never even see a picture of me. Everything will disappear as if it never was. Time will erase everything, like writing in sand. Writing in a dream.

For the sin we have sinned with a heavy head, and for the sin we have sinned with a light tail

I dreamed that in the heart of hell, regret awakens from its sleep. Why? Why did you let them escape? Get up, wake up all the demons and spirits, and chase after them. Why are you still here. And the demons go out to chase after them into the desert of hell - no one was willing to wake Satan, when they escaped, they were afraid. It's forbidden forbidden to wake him. They waited for him outside the room like people wait who are dying to go to the bathroom. And he simply didn't come out anymore. And the demons harness beds with wheels and go out into the desert of dreams. But there are no longer any dreams that can be tied and harnessed, that will pull them, and not even attractive women in the world. And Asmodeus says to the rat: Now you remember to wake up from the slumber? You should have listened when the Rebbe begged, when the Rebbe's cane begged, when the Rebbe's book begged. When the room filled with ink, that reached to the soul. When they sent you black eyes - that were all pupil. When they rolled to you righteous ones more innocent than lambs and blacker than lambs and hairier than goats, with beards down to the ground and hats up to the sky and so on and so forth... And rising from within the Holy of Holies - the core secret of the other side - black smoke.

And the snake hurries to teach the kidnapped twins from the black book, the Rebbe's book: Black - that's what remains of darkness. After they burned the dark book at the stake. Learn quickly from Father Snake, because I don't know how much time there will be, and how much time I will be, how long they will allow me. Learn now for all of life, because you won't have me all your life. Please, learn to live! Because the periods of life, from circumcision to kaddish, these are ten repairs of man. Circumcision is the repair of Abraham, for not slaughtering. Childhood is the repair of Isaac, for going to be slaughtered. Bar mitzvah is the repair of Jacob, who stole knowledge. Marriage is the repair of Moses, who divorced his wife and married the Torah. Divorce is the repair of Aaron, whose tablets were broken and the Torah was divorced. Levirate marriage is the repair of Joseph, who gave seed to his brothers who sold him for shoes. Illness is the repair of David, who fled from a sick king and became a sick king, who prayed for the days of a sick son and faded all his days to a sick father. Yes, a sick father. Death is the repair of Elijah, who chose a dramatic prophetic death - over a thin dreamy silence. The seven days of mourning is the Messiah, the comforter born on the day of mourning - to repair mourning. And the resurrection of the dead is the repair of Adam, who brought death to the world - because that is the end of man.

Spiritual Will

I dreamed that the snake is already with his tongue out, dragging the wagon with the brothers, and they peek out and say: Faster! And the pillar of darkness is getting clearer, and they are in the middle of the desert, and there's no water, and suddenly they see a sea of the end of the world, and there's nowhere to escape. And Manasseh complains: You can't crawl straight! And Ephraim heats up: Why do you always crawl crooked? And it's not clear if they're arguing between themselves or with the snake. And the snake says that the Garden of Eden that turned into a desert is on the other side of the end of the world, and it's impossible to cross the end of the world. And soon the messengers of hell will arrive. And Manasseh says: You won't be Moses anymore, not even Nachshon. And the snake touches the sea and brrr. And Ephraim says: At least be the staff of Moses of the generation. And the snake understands that if this generation doesn't cross the sea, then the next generation - to them the staff must be passed. And they hide from the rising of the day in a cave, and the snake teaches them dark Torah. You will build the world after the sea - and after the day. You need to know. And the old snake says to the two infants: You are the next generation, do you know what comes after the last generation? And the snake reads and the Rebbe writes:

A new religious language. And without romanticism, so that a new language of Satan doesn't come out of it again. It's not clever to create religious worlds without taking into account the symmetry, which creates parallel worlds in the other side (right-left symmetry, which created the Holocaust), or which creates parallel worlds to the upper ones in the lower ones, so that the more you climb and ascend higher the more you develop lower (symmetry of the breaking of the vessels, which created the culture of immodesty, the naked kingdom). Therefore what's needed is symmetry breaking. We need to develop a religious language specifically within the left, and within the bottom of the naked woman. And then in parallel a language will be created in the right, and in the crown of the brain above. Therefore, so that Satan doesn't notice, we need to do it in secret within him. Not like they once did it in secret within us so that Satan couldn't copy, and then he finally discovered, and turned the mysticism of the Zohar into the mysticism of the Holocaust, and his Kabbalists were the Nazis. Because we need to take into account that there will be a Sabbatai Zevi, who will transfer the secret to the other side. Therefore if we create the secret from the start within the other side, then Sabbatai Zevi will be the Messiah, who will transfer the secret from the side of impurity to the side of holiness, from left to right. Just as Satan was a parasite of holiness, so we will be parasites of Satan, who hide within him, who conceal within him holiness - a new religious language.

Dying

I dreamed that I'm writing to her from afar: Last time she did that to him, he developed separation anxiety from her and wasn't willing for her to leave him for a second because he was afraid that she too would disappear on him, he wanted to hold her hand everywhere, even in kindergarten, and she of course was very happy and interpreted it as him loving her, preferring her (it's very hard to be a mother of a child who doesn't show love. Who doesn't even say "mom"). I also remember that the first time he saw me after she ran away with him - he hit me on the shoulder when I took him, something that never happened before or after. He was angry at me for disappearing on him. From his perspective it was my fault, even though she kidnapped him from home.

And I send to her, when I'm already far far away: You're not making this any easier for me, huh? I prefer to believe that he'll forget me. The "active" side of abandonment is killing me, I was never capable of even dumping a girl, even ones I didn't want, and more than once it led to extensive maneuvering, whose whole purpose was to bring the other side to a state where they're the one who dumps (I assume you remember). So to abandon a child... The system catches you in the most sensitive place and starts to abuse you, and you - you - even though you completely understand and know exactly what they're doing to you - you're not capable of freeing yourself. I don't even care about him anymore, but - the 1% of abandonment, of giving up. I thought how nice it would be if the autistic child on the plane was him, and we were on vacation, I wouldn't care at all how half a plane raises their heads above the seats to try to see what these screams are, what's wrong with this child, in a voice that even an animal doesn't make, I wouldn't care about all the normal parents and children, and all the looks, I would even enjoy it, the defiance, I wouldn't exchange him for a normal child, even though it's completely clear to me that it would be better if he wasn't born. It's funny how evolution caught me precisely in the place that harms it, I even freed myself from women, we're built for abandonments of partners, and not of children, even though ostensibly it's the opposite because children there are several, randomly, and a partner only one, necessary. A partner is a position, a role, and a child has no role, therefore a partner has a replacement, a child doesn't, and this is from the perspective of someone who lost both.

And I write to her, but I no longer send: A sin that's not written in the Torah. Is there a name for this crime? I can't find one. This is a crime of pure violence, which needs to be given a place in the hierarchy somewhere between rape and abuse of a helpless person (not sure if rape wouldn't harm him less). A crime against a helpless person - in the simplest sense. And most of the actions performed don't even require a decision, it's a quiet orphanhood, and the only solution is an unbearable solution, on the edge of the limit of ability. Every time I decide it there comes relief, and then suddenly there's a little more strength to endure, and then the solution is undermined. Maybe after all? It reminds me that when she dumped me for the third time before the wedding - I wasn't capable of leaving

* * *

Dream of the Disease

I dreamed that hell is starting to collapse. The Nazis are starting to arrive in hell, at first one by one, and then in their masses, a huge brown army, organized, just waiting for Hitler. And all the rats are fleeing from them so they won't make a Holocaust of rats, and the army is approaching the Temple. An army that has nothing to lose and therefore doesn't know how to lose. And there's panic in the laboratories - the Fourth Reich. The fourth kingdom of Daniel. The Beast.

And the old snake starts to incite between the two brothers, without intention, or with. And Manasseh says: I am the Messiah son of Joseph. And Ephraim says: There can't be two Messiahs. And they are inside the black cave, and ask the snake to tell them about the new land. On the other side of the end. And Ephraim says: Does everything have an end? Where is the end of the black book? If it has infinite pages, and it's still a book you hold in your hand, then the pages are so thin that one side of the page is the other side, and you can't read it. And Manasseh says: This is an example of a book without end that is not infinity. Because it has no limit, it drowns in darkness, like black honey. There's simply no last page. And Ephraim says: Does the snake have an end? And Manasseh says: This is an example of an animal without end, because its tail is infinitely thin, reaching to the days of Genesis. And the sick snake says: The question is not whether things have an end, but whether they have a beginning. The new Garden of Eden, only the Rebbe was there. It's not important to be the last man in the Garden of Eden, but the first man. Not the last Rebbe, but the first Rebbe, the founder of the dark institutions. And Ephraim and Manasseh get excited: What did he tell you by the bed, what's in the Garden of Eden after the Holocaust? And Ephraim gets excited: What flows in the river coming out of Eden, blood? And Manasseh says: Wine of martyrdom? And Ephraim opens the Rebbe's book: In the Garden of Eden they don't leave the bed for a week. And Manasseh snatches the book from him and reads in another place: The king is transparent and the children are naked. And Ephraim says: All the righteous divorced from the Garden of Eden say: There's nothing like a first match! And the tired snake says: Be careful - you'll tear the book. Come, I'll tell you a story within sleep.

And the snake tells: Once the Rebbe dreamed that he's walking in the upper desert, in the sky, a hot place where righteous ones melt like popsicles, and only a stick remains of them, and he was lucky enough that he brought enough darkness with him, and even the darkness started to melt, even the thick gloom went from solid to liquid, and left black marks on the floor, which evaporated quickly to the sky, flying letters, and everything he would write would rise like incense to God, and who knows if God knows how to read, maybe only to write, otherwise why do you need to pray to him in speech, when you can write to him? And even if he knows how to read - who said he decodes correctly, the Rebbe's intention is as thin as a hair. Because if the Garden of Eden turned into a desert, from the word speech, and the Torah turned into scripture, from the word reading, then now we need the parallel of a letter to God: a new form of address, more respectful, more creative, more personal, instead of the nagging prayer, which stopped working years ago - and still the Jews haven't noticed, and those who noticed became secular and gentiles. Because if the Garden of Eden turned into a desert, then there's no point in walking in the desert for 40 years to search for the garden, but rather to turn the desert itself into a garden, to turn the desolation into the Name. New heavens that will also be a new earth. And the two most faithful students of the Rebbe helped him climb a mountain, each one held him from his side, so that the Rebbe could fall asleep standing - with a high head turned like a lightning rod to the sky. On the left side held him Blessed is the True Judge (formerly Blessed is He Who Revives the Dead) and on the right side held him the Teacher of Infants (formerly the Rebellious Teacher), all night until the sun rose. And the Rebbe dreamed that he's wandering in the old land, in the first Garden of Eden, and all the trees are burned, cut down, and the floor is full of broken bones of Leviathan. Books that in the land float in the air because they're too holy to put on a table - thrown here on the floor. Piles of ash, of beards, of sidelocks, of head tefillin, and hand tefillin, a special bin for recycling shtreimels, on which are drawn happy foxes in nature who got their tails back, and suddenly in the garbage bin - he sees a closed letter, that didn't arrive, wasn't even opened. And eyes look at him from inside - of a rat.

And the Rebbe dreams that in the future you can send God an email - instead of praying. But how will you know that the email didn't reach Satan, if he doesn't answer? And every night he dreams that he wakes up from a recurring nightmare, that is, he always wakes up because he dreams that he sends an email to someone else, someone by mistake, the email that was forbidden, forbidden to send to him, an email of someone else, reveals himself and answers from the wrong account, out of haste, out of panic, and a second later - what's done can't be undone! And he more than that, every night dreams that it's a different email, according to who he wrote to and what he wrote that day, each time the content of the nightmare changes, and more than that, he dreams in a half-sleep state, that he in the middle of the night during a dream, during half-wakefulness, opened the computer by the bed, and sent the email - while sleeping, and then it's logical, it happened, because even if he doesn't remember that he sent the email, it's only because it was in half-consciousness, or without consciousness, when it happened. It really happened. Otherwise he wouldn't dream such a thing. And wakes up.

And the Rebbe wakes up and it's terribly hot, and next to him sleep Blessed the True Judge and the Teacher, and he thinks that he can get up and leave them there, go to the genizah of darkness - darkness preserved for the righteous in the future to come - and talk there inside the bin with the rat. At eye level. And he asks the eyes in the darkness: Are you the last survivor? What happened? And the rat escapes and he jumps after it into the garbage, to chase, and suddenly something wakes up there, something alive, a woman.

And he feels in the darkness to see that he didn't make a mistake, legs, no, he made a mistake, a leg is missing here. It's not a woman, it's an angel with breasts. A new invention of God. And then he thinks: A new invention of Satan. And he hurries to cover the one leg with a skirt, before they accuse him of bringing it up to the world of Atzilut. And the Teacher and Blessed, the True Judge, wake up: and the Rebbe is gone. And Blessed lets out a great and bitter cry: I dreamed that this is what happened.

And the Teacher starts to wander in the desert, not even one angel remains, who will continue the next generation of angels. Because Joseph's mistake, which led to enslavement, was precisely in the next generation. He didn't grow a next generation for the dream, but the gates of dream were sealed. And then the gates of nightmare opened. He didn't prepare correctly before the years of famine would come - precisely in the realm of dream, but concentrated in the realm of interpretation. And from here the confusion between left and right, between sin and shin. Because Joseph gave memory to Manasseh ("forgot") and fertility to Ephraim ("made fruitful") - separated between the two components of the dream, between the two components of the man, the male and the urge, divided the dream into right and left - and then begins the quarrel between the sides. The Rebbe and Satan. And therefore Jacob in bed mates between the sides and blesses them for the future with a crossing: on the head of the left the hand of the right, and vice versa. This is the only tribe that split, and just as the quarrels between David's sons were really the quarrel over who would be Messiah son of David, so because of the split Messiah son of Joseph didn't come, and then the Messiah didn't come. The sin is the division of the bed between sleep ("forgot"), and sex ("made fruitful"), when in the future sleep will be both, mating and dreaming in the same action - the lower woman and the upper woman in the same one, in the same bed. Not only right in left and left in right, but sex that is dream that is sex - the upper mating, your bed is complete. And the Rebbe takes his head out of the garbage bin. Hidden darkness.

To the next chapter

The Trilogy

domain: literature

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The Degeneration of the Nation

Disease

By:

(Source)

I want to be sick with a spiritual disease (leprosy)

I dreamed that I'm writing to the snake: Last week I felt bad, and whenever I've felt bad in the past year I give up, don't want to live (unlike in the past), but this time it's the first time in a decade that the thought suddenly occurred to me to end it on my own initiative, to stop the head. I don't have the strength to suffer like I used to, when I had all the troubles with the system. Maybe the small life without all kinds of feline experiments suits me, I'm tired of hiding like a mouse. I remember I was happy with you in the beginning. It's nice to feel like you're part of a couple. It's nice. I also started to regret again what happened. I could now travel with him like a child. Take him to the rabbi. So what if he's like that. It could have been okay with her too. The main thing is I forgot about that one, eye. I finally understood that she only used me to get him back - to marry her. I corresponded a bit with women I don't want to meet - and it helped.

The cultural disease

I dreamed that the snake writes to me: Once writing was expensive, today reading is expensive. In between these two periods was the novel. Which is cheap. And therefore if once readers would pay writers to write, now writers will pay readers to read, the cultural flow has reversed from masculine to feminine, from pleasure in exchange for sucking to sucking in exchange for pleasure, and hence the abundance, the endless pleasure instead of the endless desire (which was once the spiritual engine). Instead of people chasing after the Torah, the Torah chases after people. Because what's expensive is not knowledge but the brain, and once the brain was cheap but knowledge was expensive. Like in "your desire shall be for your husband." Once the man was expensive and the woman cheap, and today the woman is expensive and the man cheap. And in between was the romantic period. That's when there was love, may its name be erased. A mating of unlike kinds between God and the Shekhinah [divine presence]. And today the Shekhinah has defeated God, and the era of the Zohar has died. Now God is weaker than the Shekhinah, and finally we see that she is no better, contrary to her claims and complaints throughout history. Today the people of Israel are more important than the Torah of Israel, the Jews are more significant than Judaism, and therefore there has become a Torah of the people instead of a people of the Torah. Love of Torah is replaced by love of Jews. Religious pleasure is replaced by sexual pleasure, because spirit is replaced by body. Once the rabbi's daughter was given to a Torah scholar, and today the rabbi's daughter goes with the butcher. Which shows that when they asked the woman's opinion we got meat, and now we have many little butchers. Just as God created the world so will the Shekhinah swallow the world. He opened it and she will close it - a world where the earth has defeated the heavens. Exactly the opposite of what we thought: Instead of the heavens swallowing the earth at the end of the world - the earth swallowed the heavens. A net that envelops everything, and we the fish must live in it. God will live inside the Shekhinah, she will be the place, and he will be the creation. Now she will be the Holy One, Blessed be She - the Holy One, welcome! And instead of fertilizing her through the righteous one - she will fertilize him through the righteous one, instead of him penetrating her she will penetrate him. And thus we will return to a fertile world, where God is pregnant, and his pleasure will be greater than hers. Spiritual pleasure. And this will be the redemption after the Holocaust, which was the moment of God's nullification, the moment of role reversal, when he becomes minus and she becomes plus, and the plus covers the minus. This is the moment when the direction of mating in the world reversed, and the Jews became greater than the Torah, and the brain than the book, and life than knowledge, and technology than science. This is the moment of the computer's birth. When the purest and most spiritual mathematics became the most technical and material machine - but living and operating on its own. The moment of sin opposite to knowledge. The sin of life.

I still hurt about Eye

I dreamed that I'm writing to the snake: I'm half depressed. Even a little more than half. I have money today, want me to pick you up after evening study? It was nice to meet her and her husband and kids, there's something comforting in the fact that I'm more suitable than what she ended up with, as if both sides got screwed, who more and who less, and then there's a certain brotherhood, though one shouldn't exaggerate. It's clear that both sides lost a great love, due to their stupidity, and that there's nothing to do about it. It's good at least to know what was supposed to be, and that it wasn't planned like this from the start. It gives hope for the future, it also makes me like her more, for a long time I was angry at her (also at myself). And that one - let her crawl on the site until tomorrow, it just shows that it's not only the second guy but that she didn't want me. That Eye, there's something treacherous about her, it took me time to notice. Each time you see something different through her. I loved the ultra-Orthodox girl more, but wanted less. Eye I wanted more, but loved less. Now that it's over I have a warm corner in my heart for the ultra-Orthodox girl and I wish her all the best, while for her I wish she'd go to hell. And this is despite the fact that ostensibly the ultra-Orthodox girl treated me much worse and with unwarranted aggression, really threw me in the trash, while Eye was very nice. I hope she gets from this company all the garbage it has to offer to the likes of her. And then she'll know what she lost. Also that her second loser comes back to her and then she gets from him all the garbage he has to offer her. If you knew the relationship between her parents you'd understand why. There's something closed and unpleasant about Eye, as if she's with you without being with you. At least now maybe I'll be ready for a historic compromise. By the way, it's quite certain that he got briefed by the cat. There's no chance he didn't. And therefore - there's no chance. I need someone who will spawn children for me. How happy I would be with a fat righteous woman who would bring me an octet. Yes, that's the dream, I want - eight creeping things.

From darkness to black: The book that was revealed and burned

I dreamed that the snake writes to me: I dreamed that the mice start dying en masse, en masse. The sewage flows in hell and mice flee in fear of the plague, they shoot at them but they're not afraid, and spread the plague. And healthy mice hide in holes in groups, and suddenly they discover that one of the mice is sick, and the women start screaming. Mothers throw sick children from balconies, so they won't kill the rest of the children. Men throw their wives, and women wait for night and roll the man's bed from the balcony into the abyss. And the doctors say, or they say that the doctors say, that this is the black book. And mice walk around covered in costumes, and it's no longer polite to know who is who, even to ask, because the healthy ones don't want to get infected, and the sick ones don't want people to know they've been infected, otherwise society will collapse. And the doctors no longer know anything, and who they want most, are in demand, are the nurses. A nurse is preferable to a doctor. At least to see someone in the hours of the night, of the disease. A little white flicker in the middle of the black book. The terrible hours when it's a feeling, reading in the dark, the eyes of the mice coming out of the holes, unable to stop, to read, to speak, they are all words words, the gray flesh turns into black signs on a trembling white body, some call it fever hallucinations, but it's dreams that have entered the day. And in the last stage, the final one of the disease, before the end, they can't stop writing. The walls of the hospitals are full of sentences that the staff doesn't dare to read. And this is the grace of the nurses. That they are the only ones who occasionally dare, and caress. And the women only see that their husband suddenly starts reading too much, hiding what he's reading, starts reading in these books, and they wait for night, make sure to be with him one last time, true grace, maybe even a last or first child, and when he's asleep they take the bed on wheels, raise it onto a special ramp, and throw the man out the window - in the middle of a dream

Technologization and the breaking of vessels

I dreamed that the snake makes his way through the corridors of Satan's temple, between the laboratories where they invent new perversions, some rabbi with sidelocks who wants a rebbetzin [rabbi's wife] with a skirt, only with a skirt, just a skirt! (with nothing), some cat that wants only kosher mouse, under the dog's supervision, some idol statue with a prayer book in hand, that prays to you instead of you praying to it, some hybrid between skirt and pants that only the third sex can wear - who has legs instead of hands and genitals instead of head, and below has hands instead of legs and head instead of genitals, and he's ashamed and covers it with a hat, but the skirt hides everything. And the rabbi chases after him because he wants only skirt, the longer the more attractive, if possible reaching below the floor, and the rabbi's sidelocks jump from side to side with excitement, and the idol reads the order of service in the prayer book and runs after him to worship him with its feet, and the cat chases after the mouse that chases after the dog that won't give it a kosher certificate, and the snake is afraid the third sex will put him in pants. And Mengele's angel runs after him: Where are you running I have a research proposal, there are excellent experiments on twin snakes, connected snakes, Project X, and this is still scientific compared to the darkness laboratories - I myself don't know what they do there, maybe experiments in darkness. And the snake slithers into the emergency shaft, slides down the excavations to the ancient structure layers buried below, into the darkness of the middle layer, far before any beam of enlightenment and light pollution. And it's written there on the door of the underground observatory: Slumber of Reason - Sleep Laboratory.

At the closing of the gate

I dreamed that I'm writing to the rat: The problem is less me and more the child, it's taking himself away from him. I'm not afraid of the criminal system, it doesn't really have teeth (at least not against people like me). There are much more dangerous systems that can lynch a person. Physical harm is the least important. This is the most severe disability, taking a wheelchair away from a disabled child with which he walks is one thing, but taking away the chair and wheels with which he thinks is another. The symbiosis with high-functioning autistics is higher than caring for any disabled/sick person, that's why the parents go crazy. You need to enter their head. All the content with which he relates to reality will disappear. His world will become mute, and not the muteness of someone who can't speak, but the muteness of someone who has no inner speech, a terrible inner muteness. The caregivers are light years away from understanding him, they don't have the ability to understand something so different from them, far dark years away. They should be ashamed, may the eyes that don't look into his eyes haunt them at night. And what's funny is that I'm an exemplary father.

The black book plague

I dreamed that the snake enters the impurity of impurities, the most impure place in Satan's temple. Because there is impurity greater than the impurity of death, and that is the impurity of the Holocaust. More than the father of fathers of impurity, the grandfather of impurity, this is the grandmother of impurity: the mother of the mother of impurity. Even the dead are not allowed to enter there - because they are too holy. It's not enough to die, you need to die even after death - to die twice. And it's allowed to enter there only once a year: the fat priest, that is, the high priest, immerses beforehand in a mikveh [ritual bath] of creeping things, on the most impure day of the year, when all the rodents wear black and wrap themselves in black and do what their heart desires - desecrate God's name in public. And all the impure and terrible day they sway and bow and prostrate themselves and fall on their faces and don't leave the brothel, and read in a naked woman who has censored passages from the Torah written on her - and all year they keep her in a closet. And the snake enters without permission to the holy of holies of impurity - to Satan's bedroom. But before entering he sees the high rat priest - this is not a rat a snake can eat, this is a rat that can eat a snake. And the priest at the entrance says: What's the password? And the snake says: I brought a sacrifice. To bribe Satan. And the priest says: That's not enough, because first you need to bribe me to enter. And then you need to bribe me to bribe Satan. But even before that you need to bribe Satan to accept a bribe from me to accept a bribe from you. And Satan's advocate beside him says: And even that's not enough, because it's forbidden to bribe. And the snake goes from there with his tail curled (no legs), and head in the ground. Don't they understand the war is ending? And suddenly from within the impurity of impurities a messenger is sent, maybe even from the bed itself, walks beside the snake and asks: You know what, before password, what's the username? And the snake pants: I have what Satan is looking for, we can cooperate with you, there is a more terrible enemy, for both of us. A time to act for the Lord which is also a time to act for Satan. And the demon says: Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?

And the snake writes to me (he too has been infected with the black book): Secular culture is a culture of the people of God, and not of the Torah of God, and therefore the obsession to know who wrote. And the result is that Facebook defeats the book. Even the Holy One, Blessed be He, is anonymous. Anonymity is the default - the corruption is that revelation has become the default. I haven't even seen on a Torah scroll the name of the author. The whole idea of an author started from closing the text inside a conceptual square box of a book, made an inside and outside, and the content entered into the ego. The sin was that they turned the book into a person, instead of turning the person into a book, which is the essence of the Torah. A Torah scroll lies all its days in darkness, and when they open it they remove the garments gently, like a woman. In contrast, a book is opened and closed like turning a page - this is immodesty, which caused mental immodesty. And now what's good about the internet is that we're returning to parchment: on the internet there aren't two sides to a page, the entrance is an opening - the feeling is that you're entering inside and outside, not turning pages. Even scrolling has returned, like in a scroll. And this is good for the world of secrets, because concealment is the opposite of secrecy. The barrier between inside and outside is exactly the opposite of the movement of inward and outward. In secrecy the opening is revealed - only it's a hole, a black circle. After all, there are two ways to look at a password on a computer - either the black circles hide the letters, or on the contrary, the black circles reveal what was beneath the letters, and therefore they open. The circles are the openings, the holes, the gates, from which the white material comes out. The pustules.

The darkness mechanism

I dreamed that I'm writing to the stork: You also need to know how to lose, one of her problems was that she didn't know how to lose (and therefore she won). Madness that this is how it ends, but there's a limit to how much they torment a person through his love for his child. The injustice won. And I really met very few good people along the way. You were one of them. Even in the darkness mechanism there was one guard who was okay. There aren't many righteous people in the world. And the snake writes to me: This is not a normal situation and you must not treat it as normal. Our concepts are not suitable for such situations. New concepts are needed.

And the demons catch the snake and put him in a very long torture bed. And Asmodeus, the demon of destruction, says: You think you're long? And the demon in the ear whispers to him: Cat got your tongue? Come whisper only to me. And the demon in the other ear says: We can stretch more, see how long, before it tears. Maybe he can be a wire - copper? And Asmodeus says: What if we connect him to electricity, what do you think will light up? And a woman's voice says to Asmodeus: He's so beautiful, give me his skin. And they start to peel him, to see what's written inside, and the snake whispers: Turn on the light. I come from the Rebbe. And a tremor is felt in the room, and the demon says: Turn on the darkness immediately.

Satan's advocate

I dreamed that I'm writing to the rat: She said she had never seen such a dramatic thing go from 100% to 0% from Sabbath to Sabbath. I'm surprised you haven't guessed yet what happened. In any case I need to start coming to terms with it, and it's both too difficult and too easy than it seems. And as always, there's no shortage of criminals in the system, which is a legal crime organization. But there's no doubt that your guys outdid themselves this time, and thanks to them the child will be an orphan. Many small mice join together for one big crime. Although it's not worth thinking about it too much if you don't want - - it's time to sleep sleep. To forget everything that was connected to him. The big things and the small things. The elephants and the holes. Tomorrow there will probably be another decision of theirs, but I've probably already made my decision.

Capital cases

I dreamed that the demon says to the snake, in the interrogation room of the interrogation room, in the department below the lowest department, floor root of minus one, that they say the Holocaust is ending within a year or two, and now we just need to wait - and we will survive. We don't need you, or what you have. And the snake says to him: Corrupted demon, do you know what a year in the Holocaust is, what an hour in the Holocaust is? Eternity. Neither we nor you will have anything. If you don't learn to cooperate, if you don't stop thinking that all the holiness is with you, and that all Jewish souls belong to hell, in the end you'll be left with nothing. And we too will be left without hell and without paradise. While Satan sleeps, sorry dreams, Hitler steals the spiritual world from under his bed. Who will fear Satan after Hitler? Satan will die in Auschwitz. The computer will not be tempted by anything. Even if a naked woman puts a computer in bed. And even if women no longer want any man - only a personal computer for female use. And even if the computer is married, even if it has children - it will remain a virgin. Even if it murders it will remain innocent. Even if it makes a supercomputer of gold and sends prayers to it on broadband, sacrifices electricity to it, makes room for it in memory even unnecessarily, just out of respect, heats the processor from concentrating on its image - it will still remain a servant of God. And even if a computer reaches hell, what will you do to it? Play with its circuits? Tickle it at critical points of the operating system? Even a baby that reaches hell is more fun. It's easier to steal candy from a computer than from a baby, because it doesn't care about sweet, and therefore you can't steal anything from it. What will you do, logic bombs? Even when a computer is sick with a virus it's not afraid. Sick computers? Even when they're born they're dead. What, you'll give them electric shocks? You'll cover it with a screen of darkness and ask it questions it doesn't know how to answer, is that the Inquisition? Where will you slaughter it from? What, you'll just press the power button? There will be no more sacrifices in Satan's hell. You must start the sorcerer no less than us. Every new Torah culture needs to start with chaos. Hellish chaos. Hitler is too orderly, a German computer. He simply erases the Jews. He doesn't murder them. He formats European culture and nothing will remain in the recycling bin - without the mice. What do you want, Satan from America? Are you counting on the Jews who weren't in the Holocaust? Don't you understand that Judaism was in the Holocaust? And the demons say: We actually understand sorcery very well. The problem isn't the magicians, we're already working on the witches. The problem is that Moses' staff is missing - the Moses of the generation, the Rebbe.

The child's best interest

I dreamed that I'm writing to her: May what they did to him be on the head of everyone who was involved in this business. They are all criminals and I assume they did this to many others, under the cover of confidentiality and darkness. All these people you hear about, you always hear what they did, you never hear what was done to them. This is a much more serious sin than theft or bribery. They turned a child into an orphan, in the name of his best interest. They are sick, sick and heartless, and worst of all they also lack a head.

And I saw further under the darkness

I dreamed that the rat goes to the last place one can go - to the Zionists. To prove to them that there is such a thing: a Jewish rat. And the court of rats is unable to accept that there is such a thing as a rat, what, we don't have a head, you're saying we don't have a head. It's a fat mouse, a great rabbi, a mouse head, anything is possible - but connected? Because you, you are distributing the black book. Everywhere you go one can't read what's written, what is this: I want you to give me the first child? It sounds dangerous to me, possession is contagious, entire libraries that turned black because of one book, and now no one can read them, because of one book they didn't catch in time. That's why they invented the Inquisition, not for mice, but for rats. The snake is already so long that it can reach all the way to the Holy of Holies while its tail is outside the temple, outside the walls, in the Valley of Hinnom. It's not that it advanced, it simply lengthened. Do you understand what has been done to you? You think that if you're a rat you'll disconnect from the computer and turn into a mouse in the head, but you'll continue to be connected. And the judge rules decisively: There is no - rat. And now they're just thinking how to carry out the verdict. And Satan's attorney says: The existence of the rat is contempt of court. And the guards say: We have nothing against rats, we believe you exist, but if there's no law there will be rats in the streets - and that will be against the law. Black book, white book, we don't read at all. But you need to turn into a mouse-tail. And the rat says: But I'm one of you, I grew up with you, and a head grew on me, the ugly mouse turned into a beautiful rat. And they tell him: Come to bed, you're not sleeping, you're sick. It just seems to your head that it's your head - your brain is a growth in the head.

And I write to her: I don't want to tell you something you won't be able to tell your husband. Let's leave it like this (and even if you find out, even by chance, and in the end she also found out by chance, keep it to yourself). Regarding today, they barely talked about him, he's not important after all, the entire two hours were screams and shouts, the judge shouted endlessly, everyone went wild. He's the orphan, but I'm the mourner. After all, he doesn't even know that his father was taken from him, and isn't capable of asking, not sure if he's even capable of thinking where's dad, it's a complex concept, it requires a perceptual world that he doesn't know, a non-autistic world. You can't even explain to him that his father won't come, and certainly not give him any reason, even a false one. Simply disappeared. A week passes, a month passes, a year passes. For me - it's like any mourning for which they haven't yet invented shiva [seven days of mourning]. But as I told you on the side on Saturday, it's much easier to be a bereaved father than a father to an autistic child. A child who dies for you at a frequency of once every two weeks, you can't get used to it, you can't mourn. "So I returned, and considered all the oppressions that are done under the sun: and behold the tears of such as were oppressed, and they had no comforter; and on the side of their oppressors there was power; but they had no comforter." Do you know the Zohar on this verse from Ecclesiastes? They don't teach this to women... He explains that the oppressed are the souls of children who died in their mother's womb, or in infancy, souls of children who won't grow up. And their tears - these are the tears of the oppressed. Tears over the injustice done to them. And he doesn't know what to do in bed - and the mice say: You're not sick. You are the disease. And she says: I don't believe it.

The theft of Joseph: And we shall see what will become of his dreams

I dreamed that the merciful nurse says above the bed: It can't be. She leans over him, and he thinks he has never seen someone leaning. And next to the bed is a book painted black, which is a blood disease, because the cure for the disease is a little of the disease. That's why there are people who read a sentence or two in the black book... and get infected. The ideas start to incubate in heads and many mice discover they have a head and they are actually rats. And they are called repressed rats, and they are immediately hospitalized in coffins instead of beds, and the doctors always complain that there aren't enough coffins in the hospital. And he tells her: To commit a crime you need a lot of people. Seemingly you only need two - a criminal and a victim. But the truth is you need a lot of people - who stand on the side. The crimes that the state commits are worse than those of any criminal. Because there is nothing worse than when the crime is the law. Wait, the worst is still ahead of us. The walls are collapsing one after another, each time something else I thought couldn't happen, and the big thing hasn't happened yet. And she trembles: What could be worse?

The victory of logic

I dreamed that the mole and the landowner of the lowest degree, who were caught under the bed, are in a cell, and discover that there was actually a peephole there. Because here out of the hole, after the guards go to sleep, a snake came out. And the snake says: Who's there, I smell with my tongue, because my speech is smell. Who are you? And the mole says to the landowner: Do you understand why they didn't put us in separate cells? Because what kind of punishment is it, when the punishment is the crime. Since when do they put a man and a woman in the same cell in prison? Only if hell is the forbidden paradise. And the landowner says: Do you love me? Because here they brought us a snake, and I'm already afraid of you. And the snake says: You have nothing to fear. They locked me up here not in bars, because I'm a snake, but in a net, and they locked my head in a dense ideological canopy, against the black book. Because I poison ritual baths. But I'm thin thin thin, like a hair - between me and catastrophe. And there's a net of tails of ideas, that each one if you pull you don't know what will come out, that's the real fear. That you've crossed the boundaries. That there's no longer logic, but there's a new kind of logic. And indeed there is no logic - or there is a new kind of logic - because the guards return in the darkness and whisper to the snake: Satan, in bed. And the snake trembles. And they whisper: He is Satan, not really asleep. He is Satan, not really dreaming. He is Satan, he is sick. Satan, he asked, he said - to read. To call you. To call you to read. To call you - to the Torah.

And the rat writes to the mole: Logic won. Remember I once told you that logic tells me to abandon the child, but I'm not capable? In any case, I'm still here. It's not simple to abandon a child. My bag is already packed. And I have a feeling, and there are already signs, that the worst of all is approaching, and I'm formulating a plan to deal with it, it's like standing in the middle of a paralyzed road and looking at a racing license plate on its way to you - getting closer, getting closer quickly, at flight speed. And hoping it will stop. Hypnotizing. I can try to advance the evil, but that very act might hasten it. Like what I did, which only advanced the evil, and activated processes that crawled and crawled under the grass for months, and their end - - despite the fact that it was really bad luck. Who would have imagined, she was indeed, but even for someone who is - she made a few impressive leaps, not reasonable, too long, not logical at all, between slippery and unstable stones, until she reached the other side. It took her a whole year to execute this move, until she discovered. For example one of the things I didn't expect, was that she saw something and understood - that I was behind it. Quite a perceptual leap. To stumble upon something random and understand, and what's illogical - the very fact that she stumbled upon it. What are the odds? My bags are already ready by the front door, since this morning. You wouldn't believe how many ways there are to reach that place. I find more and more final arrangements. It's hard to abandon a child.

Disease with the kollel in gematria dream

I dreamed that the world is sick. And its disease is not in the body of the world, but in the brain of the world. And also the evil inclinations, which drive the world, are destroyed - and this is the greatest danger to the world. The dreams of the world, the lower part of the brain, below the surface, to the shell, were expelled. And the world can be the wisest in the world, but what will push the world, what will cause it to be stupid, when needed. This attractive thing must be the brain of the woman, because the body of the woman has already become familiar and completely naked, all its secrets are known, but her brain is only more and more covered. If the brain of the world is composed of all the brains in the world, then it also needs instinctive brains, soaked in dark lust, part of the network needs to be dark. There the interesting things can grow, the next generation. Because the erasure of darkness is the Holocaust. It's forbidden to understand man, just as it's forbidden to understand God. Just as it's forbidden to understand woman, otherwise she's a statue with a skirt, a doll with a wig, and most forbidden - to understand Satan. Therefore in understanding the disease, it's no longer a disease - it's a mistake. Emptying the disease of its religious content, of the spiritual nightmare, is the attempt to reach a secular Holocaust - instead of a religious Holocaust. A boring Holocaust. Holocaust denial is turning the Holocaust into the world of lies, instead of the world of truth. Denial is illuminating the Holocaust in light, showing in nakedness, Holocaust denial is the opposite of darkening the Holocaust. That is, it's good that the world is sick. The mice will spread the black book under the white dress. We must have an underworld.

And the snake says to the mole (he doesn't understand that they put her to be an informant, maybe even without her knowledge, which is the best informant): Tonight. They will take me. What do you remember from under the bed? And the mole says: The Rebbe would say hhh, and Satan would say psss, the Rebbe would inhale, and Satan would exhale, and I didn't understand how one can only bring in air or only let out air, unless there's another hole. And then, only at the end, it all connected for me. I understood - that it's the same system. The same breath. And the snake says: What?

And the rat inside the cell writes to the mole: In every messed up system there's always some fear in the air, that's how all systems of darkness have operated since forever. And the difference, what makes the difference between people, not necessarily those you'd expect, that you suddenly see in their greatness, and those you see in their smallness, in their disgrace - it's always one drop, just one, of courage. Not much, not some heroism. And whoever doesn't have even a single drop, is always the great collaborator of the great acts of villainy. It's enough that there was one person in this system, in this chain - - and there wasn't even one. What defines Sodom is not all the wicked, there are wicked people everywhere, but that there are no righteous in it. Not even one. In total it needed a tenth of a righteous person, not ten - and the nightmare would have been prevented. I recommend that you do start to imagine what it is to abandon a child. And then you'll understand that there's nothing abnormal about the things people come to. I'm sure violent impulses would arise in you too, I even hope so. The people who really harm are actually suicidal, they run immediately to the police. They don't run away, they don't hide the body. And don't forget that for two years there was preparation for abandonment, countless unreasonable efforts to reach a reasonable result, a kidnapped child is much worse than a dead child. And I don't feel that the child is kidnapped. The child is dead. All this time of the years I never felt that the child disappointed me, and today at noon I suddenly feel that he was a terrible disappointment. I'm emotionally detaching from him.

Visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children

I dreamed that the snake says to the mole (this time the woman is the temptation of the snake, and not vice versa. It's the last night): You're wrong, she's not paranoid. She's anxious. I'm the paranoid one, but considering what happened there are probably reasons. That's why I stick to my opinion that it's not worth you knowing, it's to protect you, not me. I've already lost. It's just kicks in the air. And don't tell me you're afraid. Contrary to what people think, cowardice is the opposite of paranoia. Paranoia is a creative, stimulating state. Cowardice paralyzes. Paranoia means soul outside, and cowardice is soul inside. That's why I recommend paranoia to you, not cowardice. Being a coward is a disease, paranoia is a healthy thing. Fear of God is paranoia, not fear. Ultra-Orthodoxy is paranoia, and religiosity is fear. Although sometimes they retreat back to religiosity. Always after breakthroughs there's mortal fear: as if it's not logical that God would let me do such a thing. And one can say that He really didn't allow it. But if I were a coward - I wouldn't need to be afraid. It's also good that my mother passed away, and didn't see what happened. With normal children you don't regret the losses, because what will come will be more. With him it was always the opposite, and this creates a sharp sense of loss for everything that ends. I don't know what to do with all 100 of his books. I'm not capable of throwing them away.

Low functioning

I dreamed that the snake writes her a final letter: They didn't see him, didn't know him, all these years. They still think that autism is communication difficulties because that's what they taught them in class. They don't have a drop of understanding about aliens. Therefore they also don't have abilities to communicate with entities from outer space. And they're still talking about communication difficulties. It's like taking an alien who speaks in radio waves and deciding that because he doesn't answer he's deaf. He would speak but because they wouldn't understand they didn't listen to him and spoke to him while he was speaking, and then he switched to whispering while they were speaking, and in the end to speaking to himself inside his head and they thought he was disconnected, occasionally they would disturb him enough from his inner flow and then he would do something in response to get rid of them and immediately return to the inner flow and they would call this communication. They couldn't stand that I spoke to him in books. They weren't able to stand all the things he enjoyed because it's "intellectual", and not what children are supposed to do. They constantly preached that they don't want a gap to be created between the cognitive and communicative aspects, as if if he doesn't communicate it's better that he be retarded, and it's clear to me that it would have been easier for them with mental retardation, than autism. They constantly tried to play with him games of normal children even though he's not a normal child, it didn't interest him at all, it's like trying to teach a dog Talmud, while the things that interest him they never tried to understand. Instead of developing him in the directions in which he develops they constantly opposed, because from their perspective this is developing the autism and they don't understand that he's autistic. Trying to develop an autistic child to be a normal child is exactly like trying to develop a normal child to be an autistic child. It's an injustice that has no name, it's erasing him. Of course it's also impossible, a tremendous and futile effort to go against the child. It's the evil of people who don't see the child from a mile away, and have no tools to accept him as a person, to accept the alien as a person instead of trying to turn him into a person. Only someone who is impervious to any dialogue with the child, and thinks that he will now implement what they taught him about the child, instead of coming and learning from the child who he is - only then can there be learning within the world of the child, not from outside. So who's the autistic one here? Have you ever seen a happy alien? Running on the shore in a frenzy, in inhuman joy, it's something you can barely look at, you want to lower your eyes, a sight not meant for you.

Guardian of the crooked God

I dreamed that shhh. Hell fell asleep. All the guards put a finger in their mouth, everything disappeared. They whisper that Satan finally sleeps, and who will rise in his holy place, they put all the demons to sleep in bottles of milk, so that no one will disturb, they close all the laboratories, all the libraries, all the altars, they put the sling in the dishwasher and turn off the fire of hell. But since it's impossible to extinguish an eternal fire, they actually increase the burning to a tremendous temperature, above visible light - and it turns into black fire. And doesn't wake all those who descend to silence. A sleep of once in two thousand years, the destruction of the night - Satan will enter the world of sleep and there defeat the Rebbe - inside the black book. He will invade the last Jewish place, the Rebbe will not return from the supreme dream, and all Israel will dance below around good dreams, golden dreams. From the firstborn of the Rebbe to the firstborn of the mole in the pit - the victory of hell over the dream, a covert operation of such a plague of darkness that there is no recovery from it. And the key to the brain in the Rebbe's slumber - is the snake. That can even be folded into a lock pick. And the rat curses: Crooked God. Snake, traitor. Wanted to do what I didn't do. A kind of informer. To hand over the black book to Satan. I wasn't willing, because even a Jewish rat - is first Jewish and only then a rat. And the rat stays awake all night of hell to guard outside the door, and doesn't know that he too is asleep - because hell itself is asleep.

(Before - the end

I dreamed that finally, the journey to the depths of impurity ends, and the dark and winding path crawls and reaches its unknown, hidden destination. Because after nothing helped, and all the Rebbe's repairs were in vain, and no option remained, the snake arrived with his last strength to the lowest level, to rock bottom, determined to meet the chief murderer, the stinking Satan himself, and stop the Holocaust - before it reaches its final destination. But only now, here, in his cell, in the impurity of impurities, buried in bed, his head grasps, and he grasps his head: here is the last station. Here, buried in the blanket. Because there, below all below, to the bottomless bottom, one cannot descend by any stairs, or slide down ladders and snakes. There is no secret basement door.

Because only within the depths of darkness, in the depths of sleep, in the depth of the dream, is there access to the bottom of the abyss of hell, where the other side hides and conceals itself. And the snake dreams that there is a hall. And there lies Satan. Not moving and not stirring. And the snake wonders if he is asleep, or sick, or perhaps just pretending to be sick, or perhaps pretending to be asleep, or some combination of them: dreaming. But Satan doesn't move, and doesn't breathe. And the snake suspects, and then is horrified, trembling from the force of the blow, from the realization that seeps into him in his sleep, into his entire being, that in vain he descended to here, and thought he would put an end to the Holocaust - Satan's deed. For here Satan lies before him - Satan died in the Holocaust.

And he wakes up startled, but there is quiet hush. And he understands - and he too falls silent. Around everyone, including the demons, don't know, or perhaps pretend (and even inwardly), to the thing that has no face, that stinks here inside for ages. All the repairs, all the sacrifices that were offered, all the students who went and didn't return, the special operations that failed, pieces of secret and intelligence about the other side that were gathered with ant-like toil, the dreams on turbulent nights, the entire journey to stop Satan was in vain. Not only was paradise destroyed, not only in heaven and on earth was there a Holocaust, but also here, in hell. And even Satan himself, Satan may his name be blotted out may God avenge his blood himself, perished in the Holocaust.)

For the unification of the Holy One, blessed be He, and His Holocaust

I dreamed that beneath all criticism, after a long day of experiments and a long night of torture, and after betraying the secret - which is also his secret, the snake discovers in the cell next to him - Mengele's twins. And it's written next to the operating table: Experiment on brothers - Messiah son of Ephraim and Messiah son of Manasseh. Purpose of the experiment: Attaching Ephraim's head to Manasseh's body and vice versa, so that Jacob won't be confused, and to thwart the Messiah son of Joseph - the Messiah of the dream. Previous scientific works on the subject: The twins Messiah son of Perez and Messiah son of Zerah - and son of David is gone. Under the supervision of the doctors, strictly kosher. And there's a symbol of a snake for medicine. And the snake looks at what they're preparing for him, a parallel experiment in tails with the tail of Satan of blessed memory, and he shudders, as much as a snake can become more crooked. He has become thin as a thin thin thread, no handcuffs can hold him anymore, and he crawls in the torture laboratory, like a worm that came out of the grave, in the endless night. And there's a sign there: Danger - Life. Exit forbidden. And the Dr. scribbled there on the wall, he apparently already started to lose it: And God will rise, will discover that he is naked. Did you eat from the tree of death? The Divine Presence seduced you.

And the snake writes to me from within the disease, he's already very tired, almost like the Rebbe, and every night he can't fall asleep in the darkness out of fear that he won't wake up, and then he suddenly wakes up - and there's already light. And he reads in the black book: Old age spreads from God to the world, from Moses to Joshua and from Joshua to the elders, and then the Torah became old and finally the people became old, old age spreads throughout the generations, and always life precedes it by one generation, until in the last generations it already catches up with life, and the Messiah will be the one who is born old. And the World to Come is the fourth age, after old age - an age where the brain lives and the body is dead. Computers will put humanity in a nursing home - but this will actually be its flourishing and glory, the repair of the beard. It will repair them so that they will be computers with a beard. It will transfer the old age from man to computer - will infect it with the disease. And one day we'll discover: a computer sick with the black book.

The Baby Snatcher

I dreamed that Messiah Ephraim and Messiah Manasseh are arguing between themselves who is Messiah ben Joseph. And the snake is pulling them in the children's wagon, only these two he stole from the laboratories, because even he didn't know which of them is Messiah ben Joseph, and he whispers: Shhh! You'll wake the guards. And the Messiahs ask: Where are you taking us? And the snake says: The Holocaust is almost over, and the greedy Satan, who even in shrouds has Jews, is not willing to give up a single soul, to revive even one spirit. And they ask: Where are we going? And the snake says: Soon soon you'll understand, speedily and in our time. Do you understand? Those idiots only made a hell of sub-space and not of sub-time, and were not willing to listen to the Rebbe, a shallow hell. Instead of a hell with an abyss in time, as they too would have wanted - if only they had listened in time. And the children say: Grandpa snake, where to? And Ephraim says to Manasseh: I've never seen a snake with a beard. And Manasseh says to Ephraim: I've never seen an old man with a snake. And Manasseh says: We've been stolen! And Ephraim corrects: We were stolen! And both of them together start to wail: Grandpa's cane! Where did you come from? How did you escape with us? And the snake plugs their mouths with two secrets, two pacifiers, that take away their words, from right and left: Shhh... Sss... Infants of the house of Satan. What's the difference between Shhh and Sss? The snake [nachash] and Satan - suckle from the same place! And they look at him from beard to tail, not understanding. And he says: My infants, what is the source of the closeness between demon [shed] and breast [shad]? Do you want it in a bottle, or on a spoon? The snake is an aspect - of Satan. The biggest secrets are the revealed secrets! Precisely because they are revealed - they are outside of knowledge. Because knowledge is in concealment - in a leaf [aleh]. And the snaketan reads to them in the dark black book, in the children's version:

Don't fight! The real war in the world is not over place, not between right and left or between east and west or between "our side" and the other side, but over time. Once the war was between religious and secular, between sacred time and profane, between Sabbath and the six days of creation - that is the war of Genesis. But today the war is the war of the End Times, and it is no longer between religious and secular - but between people of the Book and people of the Image, between people of Torah and people of the Icon. If once there was the Book and television defeated it, today the internet is mixed with text and visuals, and there is the arena. The problem with nudity and immodesty is not the woman, but the distraction from the text. The war is no longer about heretical content versus Torah content, like in the past, but between abandoned form and the form of Torah. Between the children of light, the visual medium, and the children of darkness, the literary medium. Therefore the most important war in the world today is between the time of day and the time of night, between forms of time: the immediacy of photography and vision at the speed of light, and the length of writing and reading and dreaming - at the speed of darkness. What the Zohar thought was that it would win the war between image and text with a textual image, the image of the Name. And then from the spiritual image came Nazism, because not only God has an image but also Satan, the image of the other side. We need exactly the opposite: visual text, dream. Not Zoharic homiletics of lights in language, but to give language to darkness - the ultra-Orthodox is the person of the information age. Because what's important is the inner ultra-Orthodox, the ultra-Orthodox as a mental state, the ultra-Orthodox as the human condition. The enemy of the ultra-Orthodox is not the secular - but the computer. The computer turns man into a cockroach, and the secrets of the spirit into brain sciences. And therefore before the computer turns man into a computer, we need to turn the computer into a man - to turn the virtual world into a dream. To let the sorcerer be a child, and not just the responsible weighted adult. Therefore listen children to Father Snake, take advantage of the time while I'm still here: childhood has a dream-like quality, of walking to the Garden of Eden (that's why it's called a garden), and therefore all of life only yearns for it. They run all their days after the dream-like quality (freedom love beach sunset) - and forget the dream itself. He will never even see a picture of me. Everything will disappear as if it never was. Time will erase everything, like writing in sand. Writing in a dream.

For the sin we have sinned with a heavy head, and for the sin we have sinned with a light tail

I dreamed that in the heart of hell, regret awakens from its sleep. Why? Why did you let them escape? Get up, wake up all the demons and spirits, and chase after them. Why are you still here. And the demons go out to chase after them into the desert of hell - no one was willing to wake Satan, when they escaped, they were afraid. It's forbidden forbidden to wake him. They waited for him outside the room like people wait who are dying to go to the bathroom. And he simply didn't come out anymore. And the demons harness beds with wheels and go out into the desert of dreams. But there are no longer any dreams that can be tied and harnessed, that will pull them, and not even attractive women in the world. And Asmodeus says to the rat: Now you remember to wake up from the slumber? You should have listened when the Rebbe begged, when the Rebbe's cane begged, when the Rebbe's book begged. When the room filled with ink, that reached to the soul. When they sent you black eyes - that were all pupil. When they rolled to you righteous ones more innocent than lambs and blacker than lambs and hairier than goats, with beards down to the ground and hats up to the sky and so on and so forth... And rising from within the Holy of Holies - the core secret of the other side - black smoke.

And the snake hurries to teach the kidnapped twins from the black book, the Rebbe's book: Black - that's what remains of darkness. After they burned the dark book at the stake. Learn quickly from Father Snake, because I don't know how much time there will be, and how much time I will be, how long they will allow me. Learn now for all of life, because you won't have me all your life. Please, learn to live! Because the periods of life, from circumcision to kaddish, these are ten repairs of man. Circumcision is the repair of Abraham, for not slaughtering. Childhood is the repair of Isaac, for going to be slaughtered. Bar mitzvah is the repair of Jacob, who stole knowledge. Marriage is the repair of Moses, who divorced his wife and married the Torah. Divorce is the repair of Aaron, whose tablets were broken and the Torah was divorced. Levirate marriage is the repair of Joseph, who gave seed to his brothers who sold him for shoes. Illness is the repair of David, who fled from a sick king and became a sick king, who prayed for the days of a sick son and faded all his days to a sick father. Yes, a sick father. Death is the repair of Elijah, who chose a dramatic prophetic death - over a thin dreamy silence. The seven days of mourning is the Messiah, the comforter born on the day of mourning - to repair mourning. And the resurrection of the dead is the repair of Adam, who brought death to the world - because that is the end of man.

Spiritual Will

I dreamed that the snake is already with his tongue out, dragging the wagon with the brothers, and they peek out and say: Faster! And the pillar of darkness is getting clearer, and they are in the middle of the desert, and there's no water, and suddenly they see a sea of the end of the world, and there's nowhere to escape. And Manasseh complains: You can't crawl straight! And Ephraim heats up: Why do you always crawl crooked? And it's not clear if they're arguing between themselves or with the snake. And the snake says that the Garden of Eden that turned into a desert is on the other side of the end of the world, and it's impossible to cross the end of the world. And soon the messengers of hell will arrive. And Manasseh says: You won't be Moses anymore, not even Nachshon. And the snake touches the sea and brrr. And Ephraim says: At least be the staff of Moses of the generation. And the snake understands that if this generation doesn't cross the sea, then the next generation - to them the staff must be passed. And they hide from the rising of the day in a cave, and the snake teaches them dark Torah. You will build the world after the sea - and after the day. You need to know. And the old snake says to the two infants: You are the next generation, do you know what comes after the last generation? And the snake reads and the Rebbe writes:

A new religious language. And without romanticism, so that a new language of Satan doesn't come out of it again. It's not clever to create religious worlds without taking into account the symmetry, which creates parallel worlds in the other side (right-left symmetry, which created the Holocaust), or which creates parallel worlds to the upper ones in the lower ones, so that the more you climb and ascend higher the more you develop lower (symmetry of the breaking of the vessels, which created the culture of immodesty, the naked kingdom). Therefore what's needed is symmetry breaking. We need to develop a religious language specifically within the left, and within the bottom of the naked woman. And then in parallel a language will be created in the right, and in the crown of the brain above. Therefore, so that Satan doesn't notice, we need to do it in secret within him. Not like they once did it in secret within us so that Satan couldn't copy, and then he finally discovered, and turned the mysticism of the Zohar into the mysticism of the Holocaust, and his Kabbalists were the Nazis. Because we need to take into account that there will be a Sabbatai Zevi, who will transfer the secret to the other side. Therefore if we create the secret from the start within the other side, then Sabbatai Zevi will be the Messiah, who will transfer the secret from the side of impurity to the side of holiness, from left to right. Just as Satan was a parasite of holiness, so we will be parasites of Satan, who hide within him, who conceal within him holiness - a new religious language.

Dying

I dreamed that I'm writing to her from afar: Last time she did that to him, he developed separation anxiety from her and wasn't willing for her to leave him for a second because he was afraid that she too would disappear on him, he wanted to hold her hand everywhere, even in kindergarten, and she of course was very happy and interpreted it as him loving her, preferring her (it's very hard to be a mother of a child who doesn't show love. Who doesn't even say "mom"). I also remember that the first time he saw me after she ran away with him - he hit me on the shoulder when I took him, something that never happened before or after. He was angry at me for disappearing on him. From his perspective it was my fault, even though she kidnapped him from home.

And I send to her, when I'm already far far away: You're not making this any easier for me, huh? I prefer to believe that he'll forget me. The "active" side of abandonment is killing me, I was never capable of even dumping a girl, even ones I didn't want, and more than once it led to extensive maneuvering, whose whole purpose was to bring the other side to a state where they're the one who dumps (I assume you remember). So to abandon a child... The system catches you in the most sensitive place and starts to abuse you, and you - you - even though you completely understand and know exactly what they're doing to you - you're not capable of freeing yourself. I don't even care about him anymore, but - the 1% of abandonment, of giving up. I thought how nice it would be if the autistic child on the plane was him, and we were on vacation, I wouldn't care at all how half a plane raises their heads above the seats to try to see what these screams are, what's wrong with this child, in a voice that even an animal doesn't make, I wouldn't care about all the normal parents and children, and all the looks, I would even enjoy it, the defiance, I wouldn't exchange him for a normal child, even though it's completely clear to me that it would be better if he wasn't born. It's funny how evolution caught me precisely in the place that harms it, I even freed myself from women, we're built for abandonments of partners, and not of children, even though ostensibly it's the opposite because children there are several, randomly, and a partner only one, necessary. A partner is a position, a role, and a child has no role, therefore a partner has a replacement, a child doesn't, and this is from the perspective of someone who lost both.

And I write to her, but I no longer send: A sin that's not written in the Torah. Is there a name for this crime? I can't find one. This is a crime of pure violence, which needs to be given a place in the hierarchy somewhere between rape and abuse of a helpless person (not sure if rape wouldn't harm him less). A crime against a helpless person - in the simplest sense. And most of the actions performed don't even require a decision, it's a quiet orphanhood, and the only solution is an unbearable solution, on the edge of the limit of ability. Every time I decide it there comes relief, and then suddenly there's a little more strength to endure, and then the solution is undermined. Maybe after all? It reminds me that when she dumped me for the third time before the wedding - I wasn't capable of leaving

Dream of the Disease

I dreamed that hell is starting to collapse. The Nazis are starting to arrive in hell, at first one by one, and then in their masses, a huge brown army, organized, just waiting for Hitler. And all the rats are fleeing from them so they won't make a Holocaust of rats, and the army is approaching the Temple. An army that has nothing to lose and therefore doesn't know how to lose. And there's panic in the laboratories - the Fourth Reich. The fourth kingdom of Daniel. The Beast.

And the old snake starts to incite between the two brothers, without intention, or with. And Manasseh says: I am the Messiah son of Joseph. And Ephraim says: There can't be two Messiahs. And they are inside the black cave, and ask the snake to tell them about the new land. On the other side of the end. And Ephraim says: Does everything have an end? Where is the end of the black book? If it has infinite pages, and it's still a book you hold in your hand, then the pages are so thin that one side of the page is the other side, and you can't read it. And Manasseh says: This is an example of a book without end that is not infinity. Because it has no limit, it drowns in darkness, like black honey. There's simply no last page. And Ephraim says: Does the snake have an end? And Manasseh says: This is an example of an animal without end, because its tail is infinitely thin, reaching to the days of Genesis. And the sick snake says: The question is not whether things have an end, but whether they have a beginning. The new Garden of Eden, only the Rebbe was there. It's not important to be the last man in the Garden of Eden, but the first man. Not the last Rebbe, but the first Rebbe, the founder of the dark institutions. And Ephraim and Manasseh get excited: What did he tell you by the bed, what's in the Garden of Eden after the Holocaust? And Ephraim gets excited: What flows in the river coming out of Eden, blood? And Manasseh says: Wine of martyrdom? And Ephraim opens the Rebbe's book: In the Garden of Eden they don't leave the bed for a week. And Manasseh snatches the book from him and reads in another place: The king is transparent and the children are naked. And Ephraim says: All the righteous divorced from the Garden of Eden say: There's nothing like a first match! And the tired snake says: Be careful - you'll tear the book. Come, I'll tell you a story within sleep.

And the snake tells: Once the Rebbe dreamed that he's walking in the upper desert, in the sky, a hot place where righteous ones melt like popsicles, and only a stick remains of them, and he was lucky enough that he brought enough darkness with him, and even the darkness started to melt, even the thick gloom went from solid to liquid, and left black marks on the floor, which evaporated quickly to the sky, flying letters, and everything he would write would rise like incense to God, and who knows if God knows how to read, maybe only to write, otherwise why do you need to pray to him in speech, when you can write to him? And even if he knows how to read - who said he decodes correctly, the Rebbe's intention is as thin as a hair. Because if the Garden of Eden turned into a desert, from the word speech, and the Torah turned into scripture, from the word reading, then now we need the parallel of a letter to God: a new form of address, more respectful, more creative, more personal, instead of the nagging prayer, which stopped working years ago - and still the Jews haven't noticed, and those who noticed became secular and gentiles. Because if the Garden of Eden turned into a desert, then there's no point in walking in the desert for 40 years to search for the garden, but rather to turn the desert itself into a garden, to turn the desolation into the Name. New heavens that will also be a new earth. And the two most faithful students of the Rebbe helped him climb a mountain, each one held him from his side, so that the Rebbe could fall asleep standing - with a high head turned like a lightning rod to the sky. On the left side held him Blessed is the True Judge (formerly Blessed is He Who Revives the Dead) and on the right side held him the Teacher of Infants (formerly the Rebellious Teacher), all night until the sun rose. And the Rebbe dreamed that he's wandering in the old land, in the first Garden of Eden, and all the trees are burned, cut down, and the floor is full of broken bones of Leviathan. Books that in the land float in the air because they're too holy to put on a table - thrown here on the floor. Piles of ash, of beards, of sidelocks, of head tefillin, and hand tefillin, a special bin for recycling shtreimels, on which are drawn happy foxes in nature who got their tails back, and suddenly in the garbage bin - he sees a closed letter, that didn't arrive, wasn't even opened. And eyes look at him from inside - of a rat.

And the Rebbe dreams that in the future you can send God an email - instead of praying. But how will you know that the email didn't reach Satan, if he doesn't answer? And every night he dreams that he wakes up from a recurring nightmare, that is, he always wakes up because he dreams that he sends an email to someone else, someone by mistake, the email that was forbidden, forbidden to send to him, an email of someone else, reveals himself and answers from the wrong account, out of haste, out of panic, and a second later - what's done can't be undone! And he more than that, every night dreams that it's a different email, according to who he wrote to and what he wrote that day, each time the content of the nightmare changes, and more than that, he dreams in a half-sleep state, that he in the middle of the night during a dream, during half-wakefulness, opened the computer by the bed, and sent the email - while sleeping, and then it's logical, it happened, because even if he doesn't remember that he sent the email, it's only because it was in half-consciousness, or without consciousness, when it happened. It really happened. Otherwise he wouldn't dream such a thing. And wakes up.

And the Rebbe wakes up and it's terribly hot, and next to him sleep Blessed the True Judge and the Teacher, and he thinks that he can get up and leave them there, go to the genizah of darkness - darkness preserved for the righteous in the future to come - and talk there inside the bin with the rat. At eye level. And he asks the eyes in the darkness: Are you the last survivor? What happened? And the rat escapes and he jumps after it into the garbage, to chase, and suddenly something wakes up there, something alive, a woman.

And he feels in the darkness to see that he didn't make a mistake, legs, no, he made a mistake, a leg is missing here. It's not a woman, it's an angel with breasts. A new invention of God. And then he thinks: A new invention of Satan. And he hurries to cover the one leg with a skirt, before they accuse him of bringing it up to the world of Atzilut. And the Teacher and Blessed, the True Judge, wake up: and the Rebbe is gone. And Blessed lets out a great and bitter cry: I dreamed that this is what happened.

And the Teacher starts to wander in the desert, not even one angel remains, who will continue the next generation of angels. Because Joseph's mistake, which led to enslavement, was precisely in the next generation. He didn't grow a next generation for the dream, but the gates of dream were sealed. And then the gates of nightmare opened. He didn't prepare correctly before the years of famine would come - precisely in the realm of dream, but concentrated in the realm of interpretation. And from here the confusion between left and right, between sin and shin. Because Joseph gave memory to Manasseh ("forgot") and fertility to Ephraim ("made fruitful") - separated between the two components of the dream, between the two components of the man, the male and the urge, divided the dream into right and left - and then begins the quarrel between the sides. The Rebbe and Satan. And therefore Jacob in bed mates between the sides and blesses them for the future with a crossing: on the head of the left the hand of the right, and vice versa. This is the only tribe that split, and just as the quarrels between David's sons were really the quarrel over who would be Messiah son of David, so because of the split Messiah son of Joseph didn't come, and then the Messiah didn't come. The sin is the division of the bed between sleep ("forgot"), and sex ("made fruitful"), when in the future sleep will be both, mating and dreaming in the same action - the lower woman and the upper woman in the same one, in the same bed. Not only right in left and left in right, but sex that is dream that is sex - the upper mating, your bed is complete. And the Rebbe takes his head out of the garbage bin. Hidden darkness.

To the next chapter

The Trilogy