super hornio brothers
the cinema snob reviewed both
super hornio brothers
and
super hornio brothers ii
.
“super hornio brothers” and “super hornio brothers ii” are 1993 pornographic parodies of the super mario franchise, and they were released at the same time as the super mario bros. film .
til, nintendo actually owns the rights to super hornio brothers and super hornio brothers 2, which are porn parodies of the mario bros. games .
tagged with: pornographic film, pornographic parody, super hornio brothers, super hornio brothers ii, super mario bros. film, which company owns the rights of this film
how can i put and write and define super hornio brothers in a sentence and how is the word super hornio brothers used in a sentence and examples? 用super hornio brothers造句, 用super hornio brothers造句, 用super hornio brothers造句, super hornio brothers meaning, definition, pronunciation, synonyms and example sentences are provided by ichacha. net .
til, nintendo actually owns the rights to super hornio brothers and super hornio brothers 2, which are porn parodies of the mario bros. games. : todayilearned
at least to stop any sequels. perhaps a super hornio borthers 3d land, or super hornio brothers u would be a hit though .
nintendo actually owns the rights to two porn parodies of the mario bros. games, ‘super hornio brothers’ and ‘super hornio brothers 2’. both star porn legend ron jeremy .
movie urban legend: nintendo owns the rights to super hornio brothers, a porn parody of super mario bros .
vice: you' ve done thousands of movies. do you remember super hornio brothers ?
would it bother you if someone pirated super hornio brothers? because i found it online .
how many of the remains copies of super hornio brothers are in goon hands. . ?
super hornio brothers intro. mpg: nightmare9999onebay: free download, borrow, and streaming: internet archive
it is actually supposed to be 5. 3 megabytes, and contains super hornio brothers start to finish .
a condensed and nudity - free version of the recap of super hornio brothers 1 from the beginning of super hornio brothers 2. a urltoken horrors of porn retro presentation. special thanks to doorknobjohnny from the sa forums .
some of you may be wondering why it is that we, ron jeremy’s official website, do not offer super hornio brothers or super hornio brothers 2 within our massive library of ron jeremy videos. the simple answer is “nintendo”. after super hornio brothers was produced, the nintendo corporation bought the rights to the films in order to halt their distribution indefinitely. otherwise, we would 100% offer up super hornio brothers for streaming glory .
in 2014, a something awful forum user claimed to have purchased a copy of
super hornio brothers
.
in 2014, a something awful forum user claimed to have purchased a copy of super hornio brothers. [ 9 ]
forums user samuel l. acksyn has provided us with a link to earlier rips of super hornio brothers 1 and 2 :
some of you may be wondering why it is that we, ron jeremy’s official website, do not offer super hornio brothers or super hornio brothers 2 within our massive library of ron jeremy videos. the simple answer is “nintendo”. after super hornio brothers was produced, the nintendo corporation bought the rights to the films in order to halt their distribution indefinitely .
basically, nintendo was so intent on preventing the release of a porno which bore even a remote resemblance to its video game universe, that it actually purchased the rights to both super hornio brothers and super hornio brothers 2. and then buried them forever .
poster super mario batali (no poo poo) provides higher quality copy from dvd edition of super hornio bros 2 .
let' s not forget super hornio world, a new ground - breaking film .
as odd (or cute) as it may seem, adult film producer buck adams created super hornio brothers, a mario themed adult film in 1993. the film featured famous adult actor ron jeremy. it even had a sequel, super hornio brothers ii, that released the same year along with the super mario bros. film .
over on the something awful forums, forum user doorknobjohnny began searching for the movie behind the photo, super hornio brothers. there was a sequel, super hornio brothers 2, released, not because the prequel was so popular, but because it was so long, it needed to be split in two .
for proof, here is the official ron jeremy (the guy who played mario) website saying that they don' t have super hornio brothers available for streaming because nintendo bought the series and doesn' t want anyone to watch it ever again. urltoken
some of you may be wondering why it is that we, ron jeremy’s official website, do not offer super hornio brothers or super hornio brothers 2 within our massive library of ron jeremy videos. the simple answer is “nintendo”. after super hornio brothers was produced, the nintendo corporation bought the rights to the films in order to halt their distribution indefinitely .
. this calls into question the methods by which nintendo sought the removal of super hornio brothers i and ii from release, since they themselves sought the decision .
super hornio brothers 1 has not thus far been put on the internet, and assuming the box art' s correct, that' s what you have .
although not nintendo’s creation, they still bought and own rights to super hornio brothers. who knows, we may see the film in circulation again if the switch fails .
hornio brothers squeegie and ornio fight to find their way out of cyberspace after a power surge lands them inside a computer game .
atomic thumbs barely made his deadline but was banned on a technicality - turns out the tape wasn' t actually super hornio bros 1 at all! it was super hornio bros 2 in shb1' s packaging ...
( nsfw) super hornio bros vhs still - in - box !
. october 29, 2014 .
in 2009, an announcement was made. a mysterious and anonymous benefactor had delivered both doorknobjohnny and forum moderator zack parsons a copy of super hornio brothers. there was much rejoicing .
the film (s) were released around the same time as the super mario bros. movie, which starred bob hoskins and john leguizamo as mario and luigi, respectively. the thing is, the super marios bros. movie totally tanked. so, after such a rough experience with the film industry, it' s presumed that nintendo became a little more cautious with its licensing. so, it bought super hornio brothers and super hornio brothers 2 .
the star of
super hornio brothers
and many other pornos says that
while our kids are drinking beer, and playing video games, asians are getting high sat scores .
you’ve all probably seen the super hornio brothers promotional images floating about on the internet once or twice before. that picture of porn legend ron jeremy donning the overalls and hat, with the white gloves? it wasn’t just for some halloween photo spread as so many may have expected, nor was it a joke or a photoshop. super hornio brothers was actually a real porno .
i remember the first where the hell is this tape? find it now! ! thread. super hornio bros has gone full circle .
according to ron jeremy’s website, people have been looking for super hornio brothers. well, the film is unavailable because of nintendo, says jeremy, as nintendo purchased the rights to the buck adams creation to halt distribution .
the cinema snob reviewed both super hornio brothers and super hornio brothers 2. while noting that the films are considered to be the
holy grail
of pornographic parodies, the cinema snob ripped into both of them, noting the inconsistencies of the pornographic parodies, ranging from how characters were named and cast, ways that the films could better themselves using various super mario video game sound effects, to overt references to 1990s los angeles such as the 1992 los angeles riots. [ 1 ] [ 10 ]
as it turns out, super hornio brothers was incredibly difficult to find, even with hundreds of people searching for it all over the world. this is because when nintendo caught wind of it, they bought the rights to it and then stopped it from circulating – both of the films, actually. yes, there was a super hornio brothers 2, which only existed because this porno went for so long that they had to split it in two .
los angeles —for some reason, the strange and oddly popular story about the ancient porn parody many believe is one of the worst ever made has once again reared its holiday head. yes, we’re talking about super hornio brothers, the buck adams - directed flick based on the old super mario brothers nintendo video game. hornio was released in 2004 by midnight special and starred adams, ron jeremy, tt boy, kristi lynn, chelsea lynx and kitty yung .
in 2008, following the lead of contributing editor zack parsons, the urltoken forums began searching for copies of both films to review for posterity. in 2009 they found partial success in the form of a digital bootleg of super hornio brothers ii, which mr. parsons reviewed. since 2009, various partial or poor - quality digital copies of both super hornio brothers films have surfaced online, however official copies of either film remained elusive despite great effort to find them .
as the searchers were soon to find out, the mystery of the lost porn parody had its roots in corporate intrigue. as deloria explained, “this is because when nintendo caught wind of [ super hornio brothers ], they bought the rights to it and then stopped it from circulating—both of the films, actually. yes, there was a super hornio brothers 2, which only existed because this porno went for so long that they had to split it in two. ”
fun fact: nintendo actually owns the rights to a series of porn parodies of super mario brothers to assure that nobody can ever make one again .
that is, until
something awful
editor zack parsons managed to dig up a copy of super hornio brothers 2 after hearing murmurs and whispers of its existence. parsons rated the movie, giving it an overall score of - 33 .
for proof, here is the official ron jeremy (the guy who played mario) website saying that they don' t have super hornio brothers available for streaming because nintendo bought the series and doesn' t want anyone to watch it ever again .
super hornio brothers is a two - part pornographic parody of the super mario series, released in 1993, in anticipation of the actual super mario bros. film. the film features a man named squeegie hornio and his brother ornio (parodies of luigi and mario, respectively) who fall into a computer' s black void and are stuck there. they learn that princess perlina has been kidnapped by king pooper (parodies of princess peach and bowser, respectively) and must be rescued. along the way, the two brothers are separated, leaving squeegie to fight king pooper alone. while he is almost killed, ornio suddenly arrives and kills king pooper by pushing him into lava. he and princess perlina then teleport back to earth, accidentally leaving squeegie behind. a sequel, entitled super hornio brothers ii was released later that year .
the video game - inspired adult films, entitled super hornio brothers and super hornio brothers 2 (yes, i' m serious) feature the talents of none other than ron jeremy himself. the features were originally intended to be one film, but were split into two movies due to a lengthy running time. the movies follow the adventures of squeegie (ron jeremy) and ornio (t. t. boy) as they attempt to rescue princess perlina (chelsea lynx) from king pooper (buck adams) .
what does hot movies do? they distribute very old movies. they have a classical section— super hornio brothers? they have films that are even older than that! so that' s why they' re probably the most logical one doing distribution on these movies .
oh, we' re getting into it now. yes, you read that correctly. shot in 1993, super hornio brothers and super hornio brothers ii are two
adult
films based on the super mario bros.' s video game adventure, and even feature ron jeremy as mario, or, as he' s called in the film, squeegie hornio (just for the record, i am enjoying writing this just as much as you are reading it). nintendo actually purchased the rights to both of these movies in order to make sure they were never released to the general public. i' m gonna go out on a limb and say that was a pretty good call .
in the
horrors of pornography
column, something awful' s zack parsons, reviewing super hornio brothers 2, gave it a −33 rating, and he noted that buck adams did a much better adaptation of the super mario franchise than the super mario bros. live - action film. [ 2 ] initially, parsons wondered how such a film escaped the attention of the internet for so long. [ 3 ]
didn' t you already torrent this before after you found it? or is this just another gbs hornio brothers adventure? i still seed the torrent during the rare times i have a p2p client running .
youtube, video, film & animation, super, hornio, brothers, ron, jeremy, buck, adams, chelsea, lynx, kristi, kristy, lynn, natasha, natasia, bros, bros. , mario, nintendo, porn, king, pooper, ebay ,
reporter gene ross, covering the production for adult video news, wrote how the
super hornio brothers
seemed disaster bound, with 37 pages of script and 10 sex scenes being shot in just two days, involving strange sets, costumes, and weird makeup... ... .
parents take note: super mario isn' t as wholesome as he seems .
in the first movie, super hornio brothers, computer programmer squeegie hornio and his brother ornio hornio are teleported into squeegie' s in - development computer game after a power overload. here, they have to save princess perlina from the evil king popper, who plans on using her to conquer earth. after various villains try to stop them, they manage to fight king popper and free the princess, who in return plans of transporting them back on earth, but instead she only transports ornio and herself, leaving squeegie in the computer world .
super hornio brothers is a series of two pornographic movies, released in 1993, that are parodies of the mario series, and specifically the super mario bros. movie, therefore being considered a type 3 spin - off of it. while produced by midnight video, all rights for the movies were bougth, and are currently held, by nintendo, pureposelly to halt the distibuction of the movies .
then, just like on tv, a lead from out of nowhere brought the ‘cold case’ back to life. “in 2009, an announcement was made, ” wrote deloria. “a mysterious and anonymous benefactor had delivered both doorknobjohnny and forum moderator zack parsons a copy of super hornio brothers. there was much rejoicing. ”
after the actual super mario brothers film turned out to be a critical and commercial flop (not even making back half of its budget at the box office), nintendo has been extremely cautious with licensing characters for future films, presumably fearing any negative backlash (although they did allow bowser from super mario brothers to make a cameo in wreck - it ralph). so naturally enough, they were not fans of there being a major porn parody of super mario brothers, so they actually purchased the rights to the two films with the specific intent of burying the films, which is exactly what happened .
the goons of something awful have dug up bits and pieces of
super hornio brothers ,
starring good ol' ron as squeegie, a computer programmer who gets (get this) sucked into his computer. we' d tell you more... but it' s best you just watch it for yourself .
bonus: a contemplative mario reflects on 30 years since' super mario bros.'
movie legends revealed | nintendo owns rights to ‘super mario bros. ’ porn parody ?
new! super mario bros. - the movie (re - edited by gary guillot )
movie legends revealed | nintendo owns rights to' super mario bros.' porn parody ?
this week, the most beloved video game of all time, super mario bros. , turned 30 years old. nintendo celebrated with a web video project called
let' s mario
that took loving tributes from fans all over the internet, and edited them into one big heartwarming montage. i celebrated by digging up a somewhat less - loving tribute to the mario franchise: super hornio brothers, a porn parody from 1993 starring porn megastar ron jeremy .
super mario ballbusting and cockbiting - a femdom xxx parody was released in 2011. [ 13 ]
“ super hornio brothers was actually a little bit disappointing... in every way possible, ” reported deloria. “in fact, if you wanted to be completely honest, it was probably slightly terrifying thanks to buck adams’ attempt at using a ‘king koopa’ voice for the duration of the film, which is something you really have to see and hear to grasp fully. ”
i will be attempting to reach various critics and experts to weigh in on the subject of the film, but anyone here who' s interested in participating please do. just watch samuel l. acksyn' s links and write at least 300 words about the historical relevance of super hornio brothers. good subjects include (but are not limited to) the series' relationship to :
we' d heard rumors of ron jeremy starring in a super mario brothers - themed porn, a long time ago, when fleshbot was but a twinkle in a young brit' s eye. turns out it was not a joke .
super barrio bros. , a gay and latino - themed adult spoof, was released in 1994, and was followed super barrio bros. strike back one year later. [ 11 ] [ 12 ]
as for the porno itself? super hornio brothers was actually a little bit disappointing… in every way possible. in fact, if you wanted to be completely honest, it was probably slightly terrifying thanks to buck adams attempt at using a ‘king koopa’ voice for the duration of the film, which is something you really have to see and hear to grasp fully. [ video is safe for work. ]
in ‘super mario 64’, boo' s high - pitched laugh is actually bowser' s laugh sped up .
the post has a brief excerpt of the hated voice, for the masochists among us. for the seriously unhinged, however, a pretty funny (and devastating) video critique of super hornio brothers by brad jones, complete with a brief history of the film’s production history, can be found on urltoken. jones intersperses his comments with scenes from the movie in the same way that some directors sprinkle comedic bits into horror movies .
in the sequel, super hornio brothers ii, after a sexual intercourse between ornio and princess perlina, she transports squeegie back on earth, but accidently also transports king popper with him. he' s then free to start his plan of conquer by procreating with human women, so the brothers once again have to stop him. to do so, they re - enter the computer world, and after fooling other villains, they reach the generator of king popper' s power and with the help of an anthropomorphic computer virus, they' re able to overload it, defeating popper .
ross, royston. super mario 64 hd (archived march 31, 2015). retrieved february 16, 2015 .
super hornio brothers on vhs, in the original (albeit worn) packaging, with rental stickers and all. purchased nice and legal from a licensed store that amassed retired rental tapes and dvds, pornos and instructional videos and knock - off cartoons alike, and sold them by the pound with little or no concern for what it was they were selling. i found a lot of stuff over 2 years of skimming that place but nothing else compares to this .
this changed in 2011, when i and a fellow film researcher discovered a used vhs copy of super hornio brothers for sale in aurora, colorado by a vendor dealing in defunct video rental store collections. since then it has remained in archival storage, contained in its original packaging and in playable condition. now in 2014 it is, to the best of my and my fellows' knowledge, the only official vhs copy of the film to have been verified still in existence .
after a lengthy recap of the first installment, princess perlina and ornio teleport back to squeegie' s office. wondering where squeegie is, ornio is distracted by princess perlina offering sex as a reward for saving her from king pooper. after sexual intercourse, ornio asks perlina to bring squeegie back to the real world. the teleportation goes horribly wrong; perlina teleports both squeegie and king pooper just as king pooper confronts squeegie at the generator seen at the end of super hornio brothers. king pooper escapes, and he begins to enact his ultimate goal, bluntly explained by perlina to the hornio brothers as to
procreate and create more king pooper offspring .
while king pooper hires a prostitute to start his plan, squeegie theorizes that the generator is the key to king pooper' s scheme and draws up plans to destroy it .
put the younglings to bed early and lock their door tight: this is 15 facts about super mario too inappropriate for kids .
super mario remaker was a fan - made level creating tool based on super mario maker. the game was made by luniney, who released the initial version on september 14, 2015. [ 27 ] while similar to the game upon which it was based, super mario remaker only features the super mario bros. theme while focusing primarily on adding features and elements not present in super mario maker, and additional costumes based on other characters and properties. in january of 2016, the creator' s youtube channel was taken down, alongside the primary download links. [ 28 ] despite this, the game can still be downloaded on other sites .
. the films star ron jeremy and tt boy as brothers squeegie hornio and ornio hornio. they are computer programmers who get sucked into their unfinished video game and must save princess perlina (played by chelsea lynx) from the evil king pooper (played by adams himself, using a weird voice). beyond the slightly more involved production, the film is not exactly memorable. it’s just a typical porn parody of the day. some silly attempts at plot, some costumes and then a lot of sex. what sets this film apart, however, is what happened
computer programmer squeegie hornio (ron jeremy) and his brother ornio hornio (t. t. boy) are teleported into squeegie' s in - development computer game after a freak power overload. after regaining their bearings, squeegie figures out and explains to ornio that they are stuck in the black void of a computer monitor when it' s turned off. a computer virus informs the brothers that king pooper (buck adams) has kidnapped princess perlina (chelsea lynx). king pooper intends on forcefully having perlina help him travel to earth with a tub full of semen energized by a special generator .
super mario bros. x is a freeware pc fan game developed by andrew spinks (also known as redigit, the developer of terraria). the game is based on the early 2d super mario platformers and features a level editor. development on the game ceased after redigit received a dmca request from miller nash over the domain name of super mario bros. x' s website (which was
urltoken
) [ 23 ], although whether or not this extended to super mario bros. x itself has been debated among fans. [ 24 ] [ 23 ]
cm30 (january 9, 2016). looks like super mario remaker might be in trouble. gaming reinvented. retrieved may 24, 2016 .
there' s a caption saying' scenes from part 1'. the first of said scenes is the hornio brothers doing some rad 90s hacking, then there' s a cheap cgi shot and they appear in a black void which is' inside the black space that exists when a computer monitor' s not on'. they meet a lady in bdsm gear and it cuts to her blowing ron jeremy .
ever wonder why super mario bros. 2 feels so different from the original super mario? it' s not that it' s a bad game, it' s just... why am i picking vegetables now? that' s because super mario bros. 2 is actually a remake of a different japanese game called doki doki panic, with the game' s characters subbed out for mario characters. the actual second installment in the super mario franchise was never actually released in the us after testers played the game and determined it was too difficult for puny, american gamers. the real super mario bros. 2 would make its way across the sea years later, under the moniker of the lost levels in super mario all - stars. sorry kid, but it' s for your own good. the actual mario 2 would have just made you cry .
a power surge sends whacked out computer programmer squeegie hornio and his brother ornio into cyberspace where they meet up with, have sex with, and even fight, a variety of characters from a popular video game .
the first level of the great giana sisters (top), which bears a great resemblance to that of super mario bros. (bottom) .
david lumb (september 20, 2017). nintendo issues takedowns for ‘super mario 64 online' mod videos. engadget. retrieved september 26, 2017
wipe your glasses or rub your eyes because you’re reading correctly. a super mario adult film existed and nintendo bought it. check out the story .
super mario 64 hd was a fan tech demo of a high - definition remake of super mario 64, produced in the unity game engine by programmer erik roystan ross to demonstrate his
super character controller
[ 21 ], an input plugin for the unity engine. the demo, consisting only of a semi - complete recreation of bob - omb battlefield, was published on march 12, 2015. nintendo issued a takedown notice against the game on march 31, 2015, saying the website
allows users to play, an electronic game that makes unauthorized use of copyright - protected features of nintendo' s super mario 64 video game
. ross attributed it to the presence of models and sound effects ripped from super mario galaxy [ 22 ] .
nintendo, you see, is very protective of its intellectual property. after the actual super mario bros. film turned out to be a critical and commercial flop (not even making back half of its budget at the box office), nintendo has been extremely cautious with licensing characters for future films, presumably fearing any negative backlash (although it did allow bowser from super mario bros. to make a cameo in wreck - it ralph). so naturally enough, the company wasn’t a fan of the major porn parody of super mario brothers, so it purchased the rights to the two films with the specific intent of burying the films, which is exactly what happened .
philips. tom (march 31 2015). nintendo issues takedown notice for super mario 64 hd project. eurogamer. (retrived march 31, 2015 )
as of 13th august this year, super mario 64 has shifted over 11. 89 million units worldwide, making it the 10th most successful mario title .
yoshiller (february 16, 2016), super mario bros. z creator faces patreon trouble after a nintendo dmca claim. gonintendo. retrieved february 16, 2016
what a ride. atomic thumbs and juicebox hero are both banned, the tape turns out to have been mislabeled and both at and boldfrankensteinmir missed it, and atomic thumbs' making - of documentary remains to be seen. we now have a very high resolution copy of super hornio bros 2, about 50 new avatars and one very old and ready - to - die goon project thread .
let me tell you a christmas story, boys and girls. a story about giving, a story about generosity, a story about miracles – a story about finding one of the last copies of a mario brothers porno in existence .
pokémon go blessed players with a serene nostalgia while super mario run, not having as much success, is a fun time passer. but this isn’t nintendo’s first strategy with mobile .
with global sales of over 300 million, it’s no wonder that the super mario bros. series is in the guinness book of records as the most successful gaming franchise of all time !
super mario bros. z was later rebooted by its original creator in late 2015, who set up a patreon page to support the series. on february 15, 2016, the patreon received a takedown notice from nintendo. [ 26 ] the series creator has since created a new page to support him creating animations in general, as opposed to just super mario bros. z .
okay, we' ve been having fun up till this point right? good, good. listen. it' s time to get serious here. this part of the list is not for children. because the movie super mario bros is not for children. interestingly enough, it' s actually not for adults either. or anyone, for that matter. if you haven' t seen the super mario brothers movie, let me start by saying you don' t ever need to. not ever. just look up a few images from the film, and you' ll be more than all set. here are a few highlights :
porn comes in every shape and, er, size. so, it should really come as no surprise that there is not one, but two super mario parody pornos floating around out there .
video game designer yuji naka has said in interviews that he was inspired to create sonic the hedgehog after countless attempts at completing the first level of ‘super mario bros. ’ as quickly as possible .
mario was originally meant to ride a horse in ‘super mario 64’ but when that didn’t happen for unknown reasons mario’s horse became epona, link’s horse in ‘the legend of zelda: ocarina of time’ .
with worldwide sales of over 40 million, 1985’s release of ‘super mario bros’ remains mario’s most popular release to date. with the game selling over 29 million copies in the u. s. alone !
actually this is an indie game developed by one developer, so due to the limitation of effort, i purchased a cute character from turbosquid, one of the biggest 3d asset stores, without knowing the background story of the character yoshi, since i' m not a super mario fan... . once the game was released on the play store, after spending hundreds of hours in making the game, i started receiving' kind' mails from super mario fans that i stole yoshi, etc. so i started googling and i realized that the character is really from the super mario series .
super mario 64 online is a rom hack for super mario 64 released in september 2017. it adds online multiplayer for up to 24 players and other new features, such as new playable characters. on september 20, 2017, nintendo took down all youtube videos related to the game on the creator' s account as well as his patreon page, although the hack itself remains available for download. [ 29 ]
“let me tell you a christmas story, boys and girls, ” wrote elizabeth deloria in a piece published dec. 26 on urltoken. “a story about giving, a story about generosity, a story about miracles—a story about finding one of the last copies of a mario brothers porno in existence. ”
the manual for' super mario bros. 2' clearly states that birdo is a guy who thinks he is a girl. which makes yoshi’s brightly - coloured bae transgender, right? how progressive of you nintendo !
one scientific study found that playing super mario 64 for half an hour a day over the course of two months caused a significant increase in areas of the brain that helped with spatial orientation, memory formation, and strategic planning .
that said, this doesn' t actually mean no one can ever make a mario brothers porn parody again. it just means you need to use a different title, and given how cheap and omnipresent modern pornographic movies are, if enough people did it, nintendo would give up buying the rights at a certain point .
super mario 64 2, the follow - up sequel that was intended for release in 1999, was going to be for the nintendo 64dd but was cancelled early in production due to the 64dd add - on failing to shift enough units .
everyone remembers the super mario bros. super show, the mario brothers cartoon featuring professional wrestler captain lou albano as mario. what far fewer people remember is the short - lived king koopa' s kool kartoons, kkkk for short (or just
whoops
for really short), a show that featured an actor clad in a koopa costume that managed to somehow walk the line of looking both cheap and terrifying simultaneously. the show consisted of koopa queuing up public domain cartoons for a live audience of children, all of whom were outfitted in koopa themed hats and shirts, which didn' t do much to take away from the idea all of them were being held against their will. the show enjoyed a lengthy run from 1989 - 1990 and was only broadcast in southern california. stick to video game kidnapping, koops .
the game received almost immediate attention from players (and later the video game industry), due to the game' s overall design and mechanics being extremely similar to that of super mario bros. . the game' s first level is nearly identical to that of super mario bros. , as well as the game' s elements (mushrooms with eyes and horns, and yellow blocks, resembling goombas and? blocks, respectively), and the gameplay itself. [ 11 ] some versions of the game also feature on the box art graffiti on a brick wall that says
the brothers are history !
because of the games' similarities, nintendo pressured the developers to pull the game from retail shelves. copies of the game were eventually withdrawn from sale, and it still remains a collector' s item to this day .
editors' note, sept. 12, 2015: this story originally stated that danny devito starred in the super mario bros. film, which is obviously incorrect for anyone who loves bad' 90s movies. it has been updated with a correction .
so this is awkward, but according to the instruction guide included with ‘super mario bros. ’, the koopas turned the inhabitants of the mushroom kingdom into blocks when they invaded, which means mario is killing someone every time he hits a block .
‘super mario kart’ was censored in the u. s. because of princess peach’s champagne swigging on the podium like a boss when she won. in the non - japanese version she simply pops the cork and tosses the bottle up in the air .
remember those hockey mask - wearing goombas in the pumpkin zone in ‘super mario land 2’? as it turns out, they were in fact a direct reference to jason voorhees in ‘friday the 13th’ and even went by the name of “j son” in japan .
in the film, jeremy plays a computer programmer named squeegie hornio. he and his brother ornio hornio, played by t. t. boy, are zapped into a computer game during a power surge, a la tron. instead of a world of goombas and puffy clouds, they find themselves in a black void where they meet a very non - dinosaur - ish villain named king pooper, played by buck adams, the director of the film. pooper kidnaps princess perlina, and our heroes, squeegie and ornio have to prevent the villain from teleporting himself to the real world with a jizz - powered machine. there are also several prolonged sex acts sprinkled in, because it' s a pornographic film intended to be masturbated to .
with a joke about' the writer ran out of ideas and had us gently caress each other at random', then a guy with long hair humps a computer and somehow this solves everything and the hornio bros. are back in the real world explaining their victory to princess peach. it fades out on mario saying' i knew it was gonna end this way' .
for those curious about what this apparently painful parody from the past is about, other than a creepy version of a kid’s game, the synopsis from imdb reads, “a power surge sends whacked out computer programmer squeegie hornio and his brother ornio into cyberspace where they meet up with, have sex with, and even fight, a variety of characters from a popular video game. ”
“ground theme” (the song played on the first level of the ‘super mario bros. ’ game) is one of the most recognised pieces of music in the world and spent a to - tal of 125 weeks at the top of the billboard charts for ringtones .
a curious sort of boom market has developed in recent years for high - end porn parodies of popular films and tv series, particularly those featuring superheroes, like batman xxx: a porn parody (cbr spoke to the director of the film at the time and it is fascinating how much care is put into the production of these films. as csbg’s sonia harris noted a while back, the costume for the porn parody of wonder woman looks better and more like the actual comic book character than the costume for the david e. kelley television pilot !). while these porn parodies have become big business, the idea has been around for decades. you would be hard pressed to pick a notable television series or film that hasn’t had a porn parody (i wrote a comic book legends revealed on a superman porn parody that dc sued over 30 years ago). however, very rarely do you ever see the inspiration for the porn parody ever get involved in the parody and yet that’s exactly what happened with nintendo and the 1993 film super hornio brothers .
gameranx called the film
disappointing
, noting scenes like luigi and princess peach bumping uglies on a desk or mario laying pipe with a spider lady. i don' t remember a spider lady in super mario bros. . then again, i also don' t remember hardcore fucking .
it' s hard to imagine now, but originally, a shoot -' em - up stage was planned for super mario bros. from shigeru miyamoto :
we originally thought about having a shoot -' em - up stage where mario jumps on a cloud and shoots at enemies
what did you find especially good about the job buck adams did? he tried very hard to simulate the basic show. buck knew mario brothers inside and out. i' ve been told before that i look like one of the brothers. they' ve made jokes about it. i even did layouts in magazines where i had to impersonate that, with a plunger in one hand, overalls, a big, big mustache. pretty funny, you know? he had good attention to detail. it was one of his better videos. he added that noise when i walked, you know? (makes a video - gamey boink - boink - boink sound) plus it had good sex scenes. pretty basic thing if you' re gonna watch an adult movie. that' s gotta be hot too .
while also a fabulous play on words, the super knitendo was the concept and design for a nintendo - made knitting machine. the part would attach to the nes and had the slogan: “now you’re knitting with power! ” wow, that definitely had to be a tough sell to people .
children of all ages love the super mario brothers! there' s no child on earth who doesn' t remember their first adventure in the mushroom kingdom. there' s a good chance if you walk up to someone and just say the words ,
it' s - a me ,
they' ll respond with ,
mario !
super mario is just good, clean fun. except when he' s drinking blood to send demons back to hell, starring in his own
adult
film, or carrying out mass murder .
wait ,
you say .
i don' t remember any of that happening .
of course, you don' t, because you' re so blinded by your love of the italian plumber and his adorable band of merry heroes and villains that you' ve been unable to see what' s been under your nose the whole time. the mario universe is one filled to the brim with salacious creatures, heinous violence, and rampant drug use .
while a good idea, it would’ve been better for nintendo to promote making friends over creating a bot. most know r. o. b. through super smash bros. brawl and wii u, but nintendo invented r. o. b. long ago. support making new friends over fake robots, nintendo .
squeegie is obviously based on mario, wearing red overalls and being shorter, while ornio is based on luigi, wearing green overalls and being taller, however their names seemes to be swapped, since squeege sounds more like
luigi
and ornio more like
mario
, also having almost the same first and last name, referencing mario having the same first and last name. like luigi in the super mario bros. movie, ornio has no mustache and wears his cap backwards. the brothers being computer programmers rather than plumbers is very likely a reference to the mario series originally being a video game series. the villain king popper is clearly based on king koopa from the movie, having the same hairstyle, but princess perlina while having the same role as princesses peach or daisy, she doesn' t specifically resemble any of them. also the other characters in the movies don' t seem to directly reference any mario character. the plot of the brothers having to save the princess is reminiscent of the plot of mario games, but specifically the main villain wanting to conquer earth seems to be a reference to the mario movie, since bowser never invaded earth in the games (except in the educational game mario is missing !) additionally the princess' love intrest being the seconadry hero rather than the main one, might be based on the movie, where the princess daisy is luigi' s love interest rather than mario' s. lastly, the movies' title screen is based on the title of the movie super mario bros. featuring similar metallic characters .
super mario bros. z: the movie was a crowdfunding campaign on kickstarter for a feature length episode of super mario bros. z, a flash - animated fan video series crossing over sonic the hedgehog characters into the world of mario, and with a story and battle sequences patterned after dragon ball z. the episode was meant to serve as a finale to the original series, which at the time had been officially canceled by its creator, and a pilot for another similar web series. the kickstarter (and by extension, the project) was canceled after receiving a takedown notice from miller nash, a law firm employed by nintendo [ 25 ] .
according to super mario creator shigeru miyamoto, super mario is somewhere in the area of 24 - 25 years old. that' s right, you read that correctly. super mario, a short, round, mustached man who, realistically, looks like he' s probably in his early forties, is in his mid - twenties. what is going on? there are a few possible explanations. first, mario' s repeated trips to the mushroom kingdom, a different dimension than the one he is from, are somehow taking a toll on his brain, metabolism, and physical appearance. another is that mario' s rampant drug use (as we learned from the previous item on this list) is catching up to him. he' s like a video game keith richards, or something. just another reason crack is whack, kids. and if you' re a kid reading this, stop! i thought i made it clear this was not for you .
you know your hero, super mario? the coolest of the cool? the fireball - throwing, koopa stomping, shell hurling superhero who can' t be stopped, even by death? well, guess what. turns out, all that' s just a facade. at the end of the day, mario just another wimp who' s most at home with a needle and thread. don' t believe me? well, look no further than 1986 family computer disk system title i am a teacher: super mario sweater. it' s rumored that every time the title of this game is spoken out loud, a little kid somewhere throws away his super mario happy meal toy. gameplay consisted of... well, designing sweaters. you could make a mario sweater or even a peach sweater. fun. you can tell the kids about this one, just be prepared for them to never look at their red suspender - clad hero the same way again .
a curious sort of boom market has developed in recent years for high end porn parodies of popular films and tv series, especially superhero films and shows, like batman xxx: a porn parody (cbr spoke to the director of the film at the time and it is fascinating how much care is put into the production of these films. as csbg’s sonia harris noted a while back, the costume for the porn parody of wonder woman looks better and more like the actual comic book character than the costume for the david e. kelley wonder woman tv pilot !). while these porn parodies have become big business these days (you almost see as many mentions of porn parodies as you see car insurance ads these days), the idea of doing a porn parody of popular culture has been around for decades. you would be hard pressed to pick a notable television series or film that has not had a porn parody at one point or another over the years (i did a comic book legends revealed on a superman porn parody that dc sued over thirty years ago). however, very rarely do you ever see the inspiration for the porn parody ever get involved in the parody and yet that is exactly what happened with nintendo and the 1993 film super hornio brothers.
super hornio brothers and super hornio brothers ii are two 1993 pornographic parodies of the super mario franchise , released at the same time as the franchise 's official film . both films star director buck adams , along with t. t. boy , ron jeremy and chelsea lynx together as the main characters . the films gained new interest after a write-up by a something awful reviewer . nintendo bought them to halt their distribution . 
super hornio brothers and super hornio brothers ii are two 1993 pornographic parodies of the super mario franchise, released at the same time as the franchise's official film. both films star director buck adams, along with t. t. boy, ron jeremy and chelsea lynx together as the main characters. the films gained new interest after a write-up by a something awful reviewer. nintendo bought them to halt their distribution.
super hornio brothers and super hornio brothers ii are two 1993 pornographic parodies of the super mario franchise, released at the same time as the franchise's official film. both films star director buck adams, along with t. t. boy, ron jeremy and chelsea lynx together as the main characters. the films gained new interest after a write-up by a something awful reviewer. nintendo bought them to halt their distribution.