new_contents: import random
  import re
  
  TEMPLATES = (
      "You won't believe what {person} was found doing with {object}",
      "{person}'s {object} kills {nn} on highway",
      "Scientists claim {object} causes cancer",
      "{object} found on moon - police arrest {person}",
      "{person} ate my {object}, sobs hysterical Spurs fan",
      "{nn} types of {object} that you can't live without - {person} swears by #7!",
  )
  
  OBJECTS = (
      "a cabbage", "a space hopper", "a Ford Pinto",
      "an anteater", "a bottle of beer", "an antique lamp",
      "a spanner", "Mars", "Illuminati secrets",
      "original source code of Windows 1.0",
  )
  
  PEOPLE = (
      "Donald Trump", "Vladimir Putin", "Dr Seuss",
      "Jeremy Cronyn", "Karl Marx", "Mikhail Bakunin",
      "Beyoncé Knowles", "Lady Gaga",
      "Isenbard Kingdom Brunel",
  )
  
  def sentence():
      return re.sub(
          r"{([a-z]+)}",
          wordgen,
          random.choice(TEMPLATES))
  
  def wordgen(m):
      k = m.group(1)
      if k == "person":
          return random.choice(PEOPLE)
      if k == "object":
          return random.choice(OBJECTS)
      if k == "nn":
          return str(random.randint(1, 19))
      return "balderdash"
  
  if __name__ == "__main__":
      print(sentence())
  
subject: Add headline generator