old_contents: module.exports = function () {
  
  	// The module is only loaded once, so we return a fresh function every time
  		
  	var actions = {};
  	var aliases = {};
  
  	return {
  
  		add: function (name, /**...*/_aliases) {
  
  			actions[name] = name;
  
  			for (var i = 1, len = arguments.length; i < len; i++) {
  				if (arguments[i]) {
  					aliases[arguments[i]] = name;
  				}
  			}
  
  			return this;
  		},
  
  		parse: function (/**Array=*/argv) {
  
  			if (argv == null) {
  				argv = Array.prototype.slice.call(process.argv, 2);
  			}
  
  			var results = {
  				named: [],
  				orphan: []
  			};
  
  			var currentAction = null;
  			var currentActionData = null;
  
  			for (var i = 0, len = argv.length, arg; i < len; i++) {
  				arg = argv[i];
  				if (arg[0] === '-' && arg[1] === '-') {
  					currentAction = arg.slice(2) || null;
  					currentActionData = currentAction ? {} : null;
  					results.named.push({name: currentAction, args: currentActionData});
  				}
  				else if (arg[0] === '-' && arg[1] !== '-') {
  					currentAction = aliases[arg.slice(1)] || arg.slice(1);
  					currentActionData = currentAction ? {} : null;
  					if (currentActionData) {
  						results.named.push({name: currentAction, args: currentActionData});
  					}
  				}
  				else {
  					if (currentActionData) {
  						var split1 = arg.indexOf(':'),
  							split2 = arg.indexOf('='),
  							split = split1 > -1 ? split1 : split2;
  						if (split2 > -1 && split2 < split) {
  							split = split2;
  						}
  
  						if (split > -1) {
  							currentActionData[arg.substr(0, split)] = arg.substr(split + 1);
  						} else {
  							currentActionData[arg] = true;
  						}
  					}
  					else {
  						results.orphan.push(arg);
  					}
  				}
  			}
  
  			return results;
  		}
  
  	};
  
  };
  
new_contents: module.exports = function () {
  
  	// The module is only loaded once, so we return a fresh function every time
  		
  	var actions = {};
  	var aliases = {};
  
  	return {
  
  		add: function (name, /**...*/_aliases) {
  
  			actions[name] = name;
  
  			for (var i = 1, len = arguments.length; i < len; i++) {
  				if (arguments[i]) {
  					aliases[arguments[i]] = name;
  				}
  			}
  
  			return this;
  		},
  
  		parse: function (/**Array=*/argv) {
  
  			if (argv == null) {
  				argv = Array.prototype.slice.call(process.argv, 2);
  			}
  
  			var results = {
  				named: [],
  				orphan: []
  			};
  
  			var currentAction = null;
  			var currentActionArgs = null;
  			var currentActionArgsOrdered = null;
  
  			for (var i = 0, len = argv.length, arg; i < len; i++) {
  				arg = argv[i];
  				if (arg[0] === '-' && arg[1] === '-') { // --ARG
  
  					currentAction = arg.slice(2) || null;
  					currentActionArgs = currentAction ? {} : null;
  					currentActionArgsOrdered = currentAction ? [] : null;
  
  					results.named.push({
  						name: currentAction,
  						args: currentActionArgs,
  						ordered_args: currentActionArgsOrdered
  					});
  				}
  				else if (arg[0] === '-' && arg[1] !== '-') { // -ARG
  
  					currentAction = aliases[arg.slice(1)] || arg.slice(1);
  					currentActionArgs = currentAction ? {} : null;
  					currentActionArgsOrdered = currentAction ? [] : null;
  
  					if (currentActionArgs) {
  						results.named.push({
  							name: currentAction,
  							args: currentActionArgs,
  							ordered_args: currentActionArgsOrdered
  						});
  					}
  				}
  				else {
  					if (currentActionArgs) {
  						var split1 = arg.indexOf(':'),
  							split2 = arg.indexOf('='),
  							split = split1 > -1 ? split1 : split2;
  						if (split2 > -1 && split2 < split) {
  							split = split2;
  						}
  
  						if (split > -1) {
  							var argName = arg.substr(0, split),
  								argValue = arg.substr(split + 1);
  							currentActionArgs[argName] = argValue;
  							currentActionArgsOrdered.push({ name: argName, value: argValue })
  						} else {
  							currentActionArgs[arg] = true;
  							currentActionArgsOrdered.push({ value: arg })
  						}
  					}
  					else {
  						results.orphan.push(arg);
  					}
  				}
  			}
  
  			return results;
  		}
  
  	};
  
  };
  
subject: Save the args in their original order also