text: Fashion, chic, cute, shopping they said. No stores here know what they even sell, except of course the seemingly endless bridal shops of questionable quality and taste. 
  
  There's a falafel taqueria, because even the food is confused. 
  The hot sauce store has old shoes. 
  The women's boutique sell shapeless overpriced beige and orange and they have things like the town children's book which is about a cat that runs away. You root for the cat's escape. Best store is "antique" shop, 90% made in China not antique,sells nazi eagle boy beanie hats.
  
  On display are sweaters that made me appreciate both my grandmother and the 1990s because of how impossibly bad they are. Pepto pink and neon yellow wool sit beside thumb size salt bowls and orange pants in shag carpet material.  Stores offer wine, probably because you have to be drunk to shop there. Brewery has shitty beers that are all IPA sours that taste like straight vinegar. 
  
  95% women, late 30s, heavy. 100% all have cats. Hipster hell. 