# -*- coding: utf-8 -*-
"""
Created on Thu Nov  3 17:16:41 2016
@author: weir
"""
import random


def getheaders():
    # 各种PC端
    user_agent_list_2 = [
        # Opera
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/39.0.2171.95 Safari/537.36 OPR/26.0.1656.60",
        "Opera/8.0 (Windows NT 5.1; U; en)",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 5.1; U; en; rv:1.8.1) Gecko/20061208 Firefox/2.0.0 Opera 9.50",
        "Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; en) Opera 9.50",
        # Firefox
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64; rv:34.0) Gecko/20100101 Firefox/34.0",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (X11; U; Linux x86_64; zh-CN; rv:1.9.2.10) Gecko/20100922 Ubuntu/10.10 (maverick) Firefox/3.6.10",
        # Safari
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64) AppleWebKit/534.57.2 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/5.1.7 Safari/534.57.2",
        # chrome
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/39.0.2171.71 Safari/537.36",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (X11; Linux x86_64) AppleWebKit/537.11 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/23.0.1271.64 Safari/537.11",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.1; en-US) AppleWebKit/534.16 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/10.0.648.133 Safari/534.16",
        # 360
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/30.0.1599.101 Safari/537.36",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64; Trident/7.0; rv:11.0) like Gecko",
        # 淘宝浏览器
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64) AppleWebKit/536.11 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/20.0.1132.11 TaoBrowser/2.0 Safari/536.11",
        # 猎豹浏览器
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64) AppleWebKit/537.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/21.0.1180.71 Safari/537.1 LBBROWSER",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (compatible; MSIE 9.0; Windows NT 6.1; WOW64; Trident/5.0; SLCC2; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.5.30729; .NET CLR 3.0.30729; Media Center PC 6.0; .NET4.0C; .NET4.0E; LBBROWSER)",
        "Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1; QQDownload 732; .NET4.0C; .NET4.0E; LBBROWSER)",
        # QQ浏览器
        "Mozilla/5.0 (compatible; MSIE 9.0; Windows NT 6.1; WOW64; Trident/5.0; SLCC2; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.5.30729; .NET CLR 3.0.30729; Media Center PC 6.0; .NET4.0C; .NET4.0E; QQBrowser/7.0.3698.400)",
        "Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1; QQDownload 732; .NET4.0C; .NET4.0E)",
        # sogou浏览器
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 5.1) AppleWebKit/535.11 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/17.0.963.84 Safari/535.11 SE 2.X MetaSr 1.0",
        "Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 5.1; Trident/4.0; SV1; QQDownload 732; .NET4.0C; .NET4.0E; SE 2.X MetaSr 1.0)",
        # maxthon浏览器
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Maxthon/4.4.3.4000 Chrome/30.0.1599.101 Safari/537.36",
        # UC浏览器
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/38.0.2125.122 UBrowser/4.0.3214.0 Safari/537.36",
    ]
    # 各种移动端
    user_agent_list_3 = [
        # IPhone
        "Mozilla/5.0 (iPhone; U; CPU iPhone OS 4_3_3 like Mac OS X; en-us) AppleWebKit/533.17.9 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/5.0.2 Mobile/8J2 Safari/6533.18.5",
        # IPod
        "Mozilla/5.0 (iPod; U; CPU iPhone OS 4_3_3 like Mac OS X; en-us) AppleWebKit/533.17.9 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/5.0.2 Mobile/8J2 Safari/6533.18.5",
        # IPAD
        "Mozilla/5.0 (iPad; U; CPU OS 4_2_1 like Mac OS X; zh-cn) AppleWebKit/533.17.9 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/5.0.2 Mobile/8C148 Safari/6533.18.5",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (iPad; U; CPU OS 4_3_3 like Mac OS X; en-us) AppleWebKit/533.17.9 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/5.0.2 Mobile/8J2 Safari/6533.18.5",
        # Android
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Linux; U; Android 2.2.1; zh-cn; HTC_Wildfire_A3333 Build/FRG83D) AppleWebKit/533.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0 Mobile Safari/533.1",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Linux; U; Android 2.3.7; en-us; Nexus One Build/FRF91) AppleWebKit/533.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0 Mobile Safari/533.1",
        # QQ浏览器 Android版本
        "MQQBrowser/26 Mozilla/5.0 (Linux; U; Android 2.3.7; zh-cn; MB200 Build/GRJ22; CyanogenMod-7) AppleWebKit/533.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0 Mobile Safari/533.1",
        # Android Opera Mobile
        "Opera/9.80 (Android 2.3.4; Linux; Opera Mobi/build-1107180945; U; en-GB) Presto/2.8.149 Version/11.10",
        # Android Pad Moto Xoom
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Linux; U; Android 3.0; en-us; Xoom Build/HRI39) AppleWebKit/534.13 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0 Safari/534.13",
        # BlackBerry
        "Mozilla/5.0 (BlackBerry; U; BlackBerry 9800; en) AppleWebKit/534.1+ (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/6.0.0.337 Mobile Safari/534.1+",
        # WebOS HP Touchpad
        "Mozilla/5.0 (hp-tablet; Linux; hpwOS/3.0.0; U; en-US) AppleWebKit/534.6 (KHTML, like Gecko) wOSBrowser/233.70 Safari/534.6 TouchPad/1.0",
        # Nokia N97
        "Mozilla/5.0 (SymbianOS/9.4; Series60/5.0 NokiaN97-1/20.0.019; Profile/MIDP-2.1 Configuration/CLDC-1.1) AppleWebKit/525 (KHTML, like Gecko) BrowserNG/7.1.18124",
        # Windows Phone Mango
        "Mozilla/5.0 (compatible; MSIE 9.0; Windows Phone OS 7.5; Trident/5.0; IEMobile/9.0; HTC; Titan)",
        # UC浏览器
        "UCWEB7.0.2.37/28/999",
        "NOKIA5700/ UCWEB7.0.2.37/28/999",
        # UCOpenwave

        "Openwave/ UCWEB7.0.2.37/28/999",
        # UC Opera
        "Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; ) Opera/UCWEB7.0.2.37/28/999"
    ]
    # 一部分 PC端的
    user_agent_list_1 = [
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64) AppleWebKit/537.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/22.0.1207.1 Safari/537.1",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (X11; CrOS i686 2268.111.0) AppleWebKit/536.11 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/20.0.1132.57 Safari/536.11",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64) AppleWebKit/536.6 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/20.0.1092.0 Safari/536.6",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.2) AppleWebKit/536.6 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/20.0.1090.0 Safari/536.6",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.2; WOW64) AppleWebKit/537.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/19.77.34.5 Safari/537.1",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (X11; Linux x86_64) AppleWebKit/536.5 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/19.0.1084.9 Safari/536.5",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.0) AppleWebKit/536.5 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/19.0.1084.36 Safari/536.5",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64) AppleWebKit/536.3 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/19.0.1063.0 Safari/536.3",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 5.1) AppleWebKit/536.3 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/19.0.1063.0 Safari/536.3",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; Intel Mac OS X 10_8_0) AppleWebKit/536.3 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/19.0.1063.0 Safari/536.3",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.2) AppleWebKit/536.3 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/19.0.1062.0 Safari/536.3",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64) AppleWebKit/536.3 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/19.0.1062.0 Safari/536.3",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.2) AppleWebKit/536.3 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/19.0.1061.1 Safari/536.3",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64) AppleWebKit/536.3 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/19.0.1061.1 Safari/536.3",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1) AppleWebKit/536.3 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/19.0.1061.1 Safari/536.3",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.2) AppleWebKit/536.3 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/19.0.1061.0 Safari/536.3",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (X11; Linux x86_64) AppleWebKit/535.24 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/19.0.1055.1 Safari/535.24",
        "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.2; WOW64) AppleWebKit/535.24 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/19.0.1055.1 Safari/535.24"
    ]
    user_agent_list = user_agent_list_1 + user_agent_list_2 + user_agent_list_3;
    UserAgent = random.choice(user_agent_list)
    headers = {'User-Agent': UserAgent}
    return headers


import requests
from pyquery import PyQuery as pq
import pymongo
import time
from lxml import etree

myclient = pymongo.MongoClient("mongodb://localhost:27017/")
import re

db = myclient.wngj
collection = db.joke
# collection.insert({'joke': story[1], 'zan': 0})
houzhui = '../../jokehtml/ert/2016071023563594.htm'[6:]
index = 1
while True:
    url = "http://www.jokeji.cn/" + houzhui
    r = requests.get(url, headers=getheaders())
    houzhui = re.findall(r'\.\./\.\./JokeHtml/.*/\d+.*.htm', r.content.decode('gbk'))[0][6:]
    print(houzhui)
    doc = pq(r.content)
    joke = doc('p')
    for d in joke[:-1]:
        text = d.text
        if not text or text == "None":
            continue
        else:
            print(text)
            collection.insert({'joke': text, 'zan': 0})
    index += 1
    print(f'第{index}页:================')
    #time.sleep(0.5)
    # if (index == 3):
    #     break
