text_original: The thought of going broke my heart, but I never once wavered in my resolve, and I lay staring into the darkness, pondering what to do. I thought of good Mr. Lowndes and his wife, and I decided to go to Charlestown. Some of my boyish motives come back to me now: I should be near Nick; and even at that age,  having lived a life of self reliance,  I thought of gaining an education and of rising to a place of trust.
text_transcription: THE THOUGHT OF GOING BROKE MY HEART BUT I NEVER ONCE WAVERED IN MY RESOLVE AND I LAY STARING INTO THE DARKNESS PONDERING WHAT TO DO I THOUGHT OF GOOD MISTER LOUNDEES AND HIS WIFE AND I DECIDED TO GO TO CHARLESTOWN SOME OF MY BOYISH MOTIVES COME BACK TO ME NOW I SHOULD BE NEAR NICK AND EVEN AT THAT AGE HAVING LIVED A LIFE OF SELF RELIANCE I THOUGHT OF GAINING AN EDUCATION AND OF RISING TO A PLACE OF TRUST
phonemes: ðə θˈɔːt ʌv ɡˌoʊɪŋ bɹˈoʊk maɪ hˈɑːɹt, bˌʌt aɪ nˈɛvɚ wˈʌns wˈeɪvɚd ɪn maɪ ɹᵻzˈɑːlv, ænd aɪ lˈeɪ stˈɛɹɪŋ ˌɪntʊ ðə dˈɑːɹknəs, pˈɑːndɚɹɪŋ wʌt tə dˈuː. aɪ θˈɔːt ʌv ɡˈʊd mˈɪstɚ. lˈoʊndz ænd hɪz wˈaɪf, ænd aɪ dᵻsˈaɪdᵻd tə ɡˌoʊ tə tʃˈɑːɹlztaʊn. sˌʌm ʌv maɪ bˈɔɪɪʃ mˈoʊɾɪvz kˈʌm bˈæk tə mˌiː nˈaʊ: aɪ ʃˌʊd biː nˌɪɹ nˈɪk; ænd ˈiːvən æt ðæt ˈeɪdʒ,  hˌævɪŋ lˈɪvd ɐ lˈaɪf ʌv sˈɛlf ɹᵻlˈaɪəns,  aɪ θˈɔːt ʌv ɡˈeɪnɪŋ ɐn ˌɛdʒuːkˈeɪʃən ænd ʌv ɹˈaɪzɪŋ tʊ ɐ plˈeɪs ʌv tɹˈʌst.