text_original: Not that I would be thought to liken any public concern to that opprobrious part of the human body, though I might with truth assert, if I durst use such a vulgar idiom, that the nation did hang on arse at its disappointment on this occasion; neither would I presume to compare the capacity of our heroic leaders to any such wooden convenience as a joint stool or a close stool; but only to signify by this simile, the mistake the people committed in trusting to the union of two instruments that were never joined.
text_transcription: NOT THAT I WOULD BE THOUGHT TO LIKEN ANY PUBLIC CONCERN TO THAT OPPROBRIOUS PART OF THE HUMAN BODY THOUGH I MIGHT WITH TRUTH ASSERT IF I DURST USE SUCH A VULGAR IDIOM THAT THE NATION DID HANG ON ARS AT ITS DISAPPOINTMENT ON THIS OCCASION NEITHER WOULD I PRESUME TO COMPARE THE CAPACITY OF OUR HEROIC LEADERS TO ANY SUCH WOODEN CONVENIENCE AS A JOINT STOOL OR A CLOSE STOOL BUT ONLY TO SIGNIFY BY THIS SIMILE THE MISTAKE THE PEOPLE COMMITTED IN TRUSTING TO THE UNION OF TWO INSTRUMENTS THAT WERE NEVER JOINED
phonemes: nˌɑːt ðæt aɪ wʊd biː θˈɔːt tə lˈaɪkən ˌɛni pˈʌblɪk kənsˈɜːn tə ðæt ɑːpɹˈɑːbɹiəs pˈɑːɹt ʌvðə hjˈuːmən bˈɑːdi, ðˌoʊ aɪ mˌaɪt wɪð tɹˈuːθ ɐsˈɜːt, ɪf aɪ dˈɜːst jˈuːs sˈʌtʃ ɐ vˈʌlɡɚɹ ˈɪdɪəm, ðætðə nˈeɪʃən dˈɪd hˈæŋ ˌɔn ˈɑːɹs æɾ ɪts dˌɪsɐpˈɔɪntmənt ˌɔn ðɪs əkˈeɪʒən; nˈiːðɚ wʊd aɪ pɹɪzˈuːm tə kəmpˈɛɹ ðə kəpˈæsᵻɾi ʌv ˌaʊɚ hɪɹˈoʊɪk lˈiːdɚz tʊ ˌɛni sˈʌtʃ wˈʊdən kənvˈiːnɪəns æz ɐ dʒˈɔɪnt stˈuːl ɔːɹ ɐ klˈoʊs stˈuːl; bˌʌt ˈoʊnli tə sˈɪɡnᵻfˌaɪ baɪ ðɪs sˈɪmɪli, ðə mɪstˈeɪk ðə pˈiːpəl kəmˈɪɾᵻd ɪn tɹˈʌstɪŋ tə ðə jˈuːniən ʌv tˈuː ˈɪnstɹəmənts ðæt wɜː nˈɛvɚ dʒˈɔɪnd.