text_original: * * * * * Bob Ingersoll relates an anecdote of a Hebrew who went into a restaurant to get his dinner. The devil of temptation whispered in his ear, "Bacon." He knew if there was anything that made Jehovah real white mad, it was to see anybody eating bacon; but he thought, "Maybe He is too busy watching sparrows and counting hairs to notice me," and so he took a slice.
text_transcription: BOB INGERSOLL RELATES AN ANECDOTE OF A HEBREW WHO WENT INTO A RESTAURANT TO GET HIS DINNER THE DEVIL OF TEMPTATION WHISPERED IN HIS EAR BACON HE KNEW IF THERE WAS ANYTHING THAT MADE JEHOVAH REAL WHITE MAD IT WAS TO SEE ANYBODY EATING BACON BUT HE THOUGHT MAYBE HE IS TOO BUSY WATCHING SPARROWS AND COUNTING HARES TO NOTICE ME AND SO HE TOOK A SLICE
phonemes: ˈæstɚɹˌɪsk ˈæstɚɹˌɪsk ˈæstɚɹˌɪsk bˈɑːb ɪndʒˈɜːsɑːl ɹᵻlˈeɪts ɐn ˈænɪkdˌoʊt əvə hˈiːbɹuː hˌuː wɛnt ˌɪntʊ ɐ ɹˈɛstɹɑːnt tə ɡɛt hɪz dˈɪnɚ. ðə dˈɛvəl ʌv tɛmptˈeɪʃən wˈɪspɚd ɪn hɪz ˈɪɹ, "bˈeɪkən." hiː nˈuː ɪf ðɛɹwˌʌz ˈɛnɪθˌɪŋ ðæt mˌeɪd dʒəhˈoʊvɚ ɹˈiːəl wˈaɪt mˈæd, ɪt wʌz tə sˈiː ˈɛnɪbˌɑːdi ˈiːɾɪŋ bˈeɪkən; bˌʌt hiː θˈɔːt, "mˈeɪbiː hiː ɪz tˈuː bˈɪzi wˈɑːtʃɪŋ spˈæɹoʊz ænd kˈaʊntɪŋ hˈɛɹz tə nˈoʊɾɪs mˌiː," ænd sˌoʊ hiː tˈʊk ɐ slˈaɪs.