text_original: I do affirm and avouch, and maintain, with my soul, and my pody, and my plood, look you, that I have no smells apout me, but such as a Christian ought to have, except the effluvia of tobacco, which is a cephalic, odoriferous, aromatic herb; and he is a son of a mountain goat who says otherwise.
text_transcription: I DO AFFIRM AND AVOUCH AND MAINTAIN WITH MY SOUL AND MY POTTY AND MY BLOOD LOOK YOU THAT I'VE NO SMELLS ABOUT ME BUT SUCH AS A CHRISTIAN OUGHT TO HAVE EXCEPT THE EFFLUVIA OF TOBACCO WHICH IS A SEPHALLIC ODORIFEROUS AROMATIC HERB AND HE IS A SON OF A MOUNTAIN GOAT WHO SAYS OTHERWISE
phonemes: aɪ dˈuː ɐfˈɜːm ænd ɐvˈaʊtʃ, ænd meɪntˈeɪn, wɪð maɪ sˈoʊl, ænd maɪ pˈoʊdi, ænd maɪ plˈuːd, lˈʊk juː, ðæt aɪ hæv nˈoʊ smˈɛlz ɐpˈaʊt mˌiː, bˌʌt sˈʌtʃ ɐz ɐ kɹˈɪstʃən ˈɔːt tə hˈæv, ɛksˈɛpt ðɪ ɛflˈuːviə ʌv təbˈækoʊ, wˌɪtʃ ɪz ɐ sɛfˈælɪk, ˌoʊdɚɹˈɪfɚɹəs, ɚɹoʊmˈæɾɪk ˈɜːb; ænd hiː ɪz ɐ sˈʌn əvə mˈaʊntɪn ɡˈoʊt hˌuː sˈɛz ˈʌðɚwˌaɪz.