text_original: He could sweep up all the ashes, but things never could be fixed, For the worthy house of Spriggins was inextricably mixed! Such stirring up would stagger e'en the very stoutest brain; Why, you couldn't tell old Amram from the late lamented Jane.
text_transcription: HE COULD SWEEP UP ALL THE ASHES BUT THINGS NEVER COULD BE FIXED FOR THE WORTHY HOUSE OF SPRIGGANDS WAS INEXTRICABLY MIXED SUCH STIRRING UP WOULD STAGGER E E N THE VERY STOUTEST BRAIN WHY YOU COULDN'T TELL OLD AMRAM FROM THE LATE LAMENTED JANE
phonemes: hiː kʊd swˈiːp ˌʌp ˈɔːl ðɪ ˈæʃᵻz, bˌʌt θˈɪŋz nˈɛvɚ kʊd biː fˈɪkst, fɚðə wˈɜːði hˈaʊs ʌv spɹˈɪɡɪnz wʌz ˌɪnɛkstɹˈɪkəbli mˈɪkst! sˈʌtʃ stˈɜːɹɪŋ ˌʌp wʊd stˈæɡɚɹ ˈɛən ðə vˈɛɹi stˈaʊɾɪst bɹˈeɪn; wˈaɪ, juː kˌʊdənt tˈɛl ˈoʊld ˈæmɹæm fɹʌmðə lˈeɪt lɐmˈɛntᵻd dʒˈeɪn.