text_original: ho! ho! ho! this is Merry Christmas, indeed! Why don't you laugh, Wilfrid, my boy? Ho! ho! this is remarkably funny. Why don't you laugh? Why, this is the best joke I have heard to day. Go to your mother, dear, and ask her to put some arnica on your head, but don't forget to laugh all the way."
text_transcription: HO HO THIS IS MERRY CHRISTMAS INDEED WHY DON'T YOU LAUGH WILFRID MY BOY HO HO THIS IS REMARKABLY FUNNY WHY DON'T YOU LAUGH WHY THIS IS THE BEST JOKE I HAVE HEARD TO DAY GO TO YOUR MOTHER DEAR AND ASK HER TO PUT SOME ARNIKA ON YOUR HEAD AND DON'T FORGET TO LAUGH ALL THE WAY
phonemes: hˈoʊ! hˈoʊ! hˈoʊ! ðɪs ɪz mˈɛɹi kɹˈɪsməs, ˌɪndˈiːd! wˌaɪ dˈoʊnt juː lˈæf, wˈɪlfɹɪd, maɪ bˈɔɪ? hˈoʊ! hˈoʊ! ðɪs ɪz ɹᵻmˈɑːɹkəbli fˈʌni. wˌaɪ dˈoʊnt juː lˈæf? wˈaɪ, ðɪs ɪz ðə bˈɛst dʒˈoʊk aɪ hæv hˈɜːd tə dˈeɪ. ɡˌoʊ tə jʊɹ mˈʌðɚ, dˈɪɹ, ænd ˈæsk hɜː tə pˌʊt sˌʌm ˈɑːɹnɪkə ˌɔn jʊɹ hˈɛd, bˌʌt dˈoʊnt fɚɡˈɛt tə lˈæf ˈɔːl ðə wˈeɪ."