text_original: HOW TO COOK A WIFE. [Illustration] While MEN spare no pains in obtaining the BEST MATERIALS for this superlative DISH, they are often totally regardless after the first MOUTHFUL, of the necessary precautions to render it permanently SWEET, and if through neglect it turn sour they invariably slander the Dish, while the fault is in themselves.
text_transcription: HOW TO COOK A WIFE WHILE MEN SPARE NO POINTS IN OBTAINING THE BEST MATERIALS FOR THIS SUPERLATIVE DISH THEY ARE OFTEN TOTALLY REGARDLESS AFTER THE FIRST MOUTHFUL OF THE NECESSARY PRECAUTIONS TO RENDER IT PERMANENTLY SWEET AND IF THROUGH NEGLECT IT TURNS SOUR THEY INVARIABLY SLANDER THE DISH WHILE THE FAULT IS IN THEMSELVES
phonemes: hˌaʊ tuː kˈʊk ɐ wˈaɪf. [ˌɪləstɹˈeɪʃən] wˌaɪl ˌɛmˌiːˈɛn spˈɛɹ nˈoʊ pˈeɪnz ɪn əbtˈeɪnɪŋ ðə bˈɛst mətˈɪɹiəlz fɔːɹ ðɪs suːpˈɜːlətˌɪv dˈɪʃ, ðeɪ ɑːɹ ˈɔfən tˈoʊɾəli ɹᵻɡˈɑːɹdləs ˈæftɚ ðə fˈɜːst mˈaʊθfəl, ʌvðə nˈɛsᵻsɚɹi pɹɪkˈɔːʃənz tə ɹˈɛndɚɹ ɪt pˈɜːmənəntli swˈiːt, ænd ɪf θɹuː nᵻɡlˈɛkt ɪt tˈɜːn sˈaʊɚ ðeɪ ɪnvˈɛɹɪəbli slˈændɚ ðə dˈɪʃ, wˌaɪl ðə fˈɔlt ɪz ɪn ðɛmsˈɛlvz.