text_original: Ye provide weel for your family, although ye tak' no' the pleasure therein ye might hae ta'en had ye been content wi' ane wife, as the Holy Scriptures tell us is enough for ony mon, an' ye hae sufficient judgment to tak' the advice o' a judgmatical mon about your lands an' your herds; but when it comes to your ca'in' yoursel' a pirate captain, it is enough to make a deceased person chuckle by the absurdity o' it."
text_transcription: YOU PROVIDE WELL FOR YOUR FAMILY ALTHOUGH YE TAKE NOT THE PLEASURE THEREIN YE MIGHT TAKEN HAD YE BEEN CONTENT WITH END WIFE AS THE HOLY SCRIPTURES TELL US IS ENOUGH FOR ANY MAN AND YE HAVE SUFFICIENT JUDGMENT TO TAKE THE ADVICE OF A JUDGE MADICAL MON ABOUT YOUR LANDS AND YOUR HERDS BUT WHEN IT COMES TO YOU CALM YOURSELF A PIRATE CAPTAIN IT IS ENOUGH TO MAKE A DECEASED PERSON CHUCKLE BY THE ABSURDITY OF IT
phonemes: jiː pɹəvˈaɪd wˈiːl fɔːɹ jʊɹ fˈæmɪli, ɔːlðˈoʊ jiː tˈæk nˈoʊ ðə plˈɛʒɚ ðɛɹˈɪn jiː mˌaɪt hˈiː tˈæən hæd jiː bˌɪn kəntˈɛnt wˈaɪ ˈeɪn wˈaɪf, æz ðə hˈoʊli skɹˈɪptʃɚz tˈɛl ˌʌs ɪz ɪnˈʌf fɔːɹ ˈɑːni mˈɑːn, æn jiː hˈiː səfˈɪʃənt dʒˈʌdʒmənt tə tˈæk ðɪ ɐdvˈaɪs ˈoʊ ɐ dʒʌdʒmˈæɾɪkəl mˈɑːn ɐbˌaʊt jʊɹ lˈændz æn jʊɹ hˈɜːdz; bˌʌt wɛn ɪt kˈʌmz tə jʊɹ kˈæɪn jˈɔːɹsəl ɐ pˈaɪɹət kˈæptɪn, ɪɾ ɪz ɪnˈʌf tə mˌeɪk ɐ dᵻsˈiːst pˈɜːsən tʃˈʌkəl baɪ ðɪ ɐbsˈɜːdᵻɾi ˈoʊ ɪt."