text_original: It is only the Fool who remarks That there Can't be a Fire without Smoke; Has he never yet learned How the gas can be turned On the best incombustible coke? (Would you value a man by the checks on his suits, And forget "_que c'est le premier passbook qui Coutts_?") Now "_De Mortuis Nil Nisi Bo  num_," is Latin, as ev'ryone owns; If your domicile be Near a Mortuaree, You should always avoid throwing bones.
text_transcription: IT IS ONLY THE FOOL WHO REMARKS THAT THERE CAN'T BE A FIRE WITHOUT SMOKE HAS HE NEVER YET LEARNED HOW THE GAS CAN BE TURNED ON THE BEST INCOMBUSTIBLE COKE WOULD YOU VALUE A MAN BY THE CHECKS ON HIS SUITS AND FORGET CASILE POMIE PASS BOOK HE COOTS NOW THE MORTUIS NIISI BONUM IS LET IN AS EVERY ONE OWNS IF YOUR DOMICILE BE NEAR MORTUARY YOU SHOULD ALWAYS AVOID THROWING BONES
phonemes: ɪɾ ɪz ˈoʊnli ðə fˈuːl hˌuː ɹᵻmˈɑːɹks ðæt ðɛɹ kˈænt biː ɐ fˈaɪɚ wɪðˌaʊt smˈoʊk; hɐz hiː nˈɛvɚ jˈɛt lˈɜːnd hˌaʊ ðə ɡˈæs kæn biː tˈɜːnd ɔnðə bˈɛst ɪŋkəmbˈʌstᵻbəl kˈoʊk? (wʊd juː vˈæljuː ɐ mˈæn baɪ ðə tʃˈɛks ˌɔn hɪz sˈuːts, ænd fɚɡˈɛt "kwˈɛ seɪ lə pɹəmˈɪɹ pˈæsbʊk kwi kˈaʊts?") nˈaʊ "də mˈɔːɹɾuːiz nˈɪl nˈɪsi bˈoʊ nˈʌm," ɪz lˈætɪn, æz ˈɛvɹɪˌoʊn ˈoʊnz; ɪf jʊɹ dˈɑːmɪsˌaɪl biː nˌɪɹ ɐ mˈɔːɹɾuːˌæɹiː, juː ʃˌʊd ˈɔːlweɪz ɐvˈɔɪd θɹˈoʊɪŋ bˈoʊnz.