text_original: If you have never had two blessings running opposition at your table, in the presence of invited guests, you can never imagine how astounding, how killingly ludicrous it was!
text_transcription: IF YOU HAVE NEVER HAD TWO BLESSINGS RUNNING OPPOSITION AT YOUR TABLE IN THE PRESENCE OF INVITED GUESTS YOU CAN NEVER IMAGINE HOW ASTOUNDING HOW KILLINGLY LUDICROUS IT WAS
phonemes: ɪf juː hæv nˈɛvɚ hæd tˈuː blˈɛsɪŋz ɹˈʌnɪŋ ˌɑːpəzˈɪʃən æt jʊɹ tˈeɪbəl, ɪnðə pɹˈɛzəns ʌv ɪnvˈaɪɾᵻd ɡˈɛsts, juː kæn nˈɛvɚɹ ɪmˈædʒɪn hˌaʊ ɐstˈaʊndɪŋ, hˌaʊ kˈɪlɪŋli lˈuːdɪkɹəs ɪt wˈʌz!