text_original: The meeting of my tall, lank relative and the big nosed little Jew was a spectacle to cure a hypochondriac! "Mr. Jacob Menzel  gentleman from Germany  traveling in this country," I yelled in the old fellow's ear. He of the diminutive legs and stupendous nose bowed with perfect decorum, and seated himself, stiff and erect, in the big chair I placed for him.
text_transcription: THE MEETING OF MY TALL LANK RELATIVE AND THE BIG NOSED LITTLE JEW WAS A SPECTACLE TO CURE A HYPOCHONDRIAC MISTER JACOB MENZEL GENTLEMAN FROM GERMANY TRAVELING IN THIS COUNTRY I YELLED IN THE OLD MAN'S EAR HE OF THE DIMINUTIVE LEGS AND STUPENDOUS NOSE BOWED WITH PERFECT DECORUM AND SEATED HIMSELF STIFF AND ERECT IN THE BIG CHAIR I PLACED FOR HIM
phonemes: ðə mˈiːɾɪŋ ʌv maɪ tˈɔːl, lˈæŋk ɹˈɛlətˌɪv ænd ðə bˈɪɡ nˈoʊzd lˈɪɾəl dʒˈuː wʌzɐ spˈɛktəkəl tə kjˈʊɹ ɐ hˌaɪpoʊkˈɑːndɹiˌæk! "mˈɪstɚ. dʒˈeɪkəb mˈɛnzəl dʒˈɛntəlmən fɹʌm dʒˈɜːməni tɹˈævəlɪŋ ɪn ðɪs kˈʌntɹi," aɪ jˈɛld ɪnðɪ ˈoʊld fˈɛloʊz ˈɪɹ. hiː ʌvðə dᵻmˈɪnjuːtˌɪv lˈɛɡz ænd stuːpˈɛndəs nˈoʊz bˈaʊd wɪð pˈɜːfɛkt dᵻkˈɔːɹəm, ænd sˈiːɾᵻd hɪmsˈɛlf, stˈɪf ænd ɪɹˈɛkt, ɪnðə bˈɪɡ tʃˈɛɹ aɪ plˈeɪst fɔːɹ hˌɪm.