text_original: By this philosophy it was held that each man consists of about thirty pounds of solid mat  ter, wet up with several buckets of water; that in youth his mother and sweetheart, kneads, rolls, pats and keeps him in shape, until his wife takes charge of him and makes him into large loaves or little cakes, according to family requirements; but must not stop kneading, rolling, patting, on pain of having him all flatten out.
text_transcription: BY THIS PHILOSOPHY IT WAS HELD THAT EACH MAN CONSISTS OF ABOUT THIRTY POUNDS OF SOLID MATTER WET UP WITH SEVERAL BUCKETS OF WATER THAT IN YOUTH HIS MOTHER AND SWEETHEART KNEADS ROLLS PATS AND KEEPS HIM IN SHAPE UNTIL HIS WIFE TAKES CHARGE OF HIM AND MAKES HIM INTO LARGE LOAVES OR LITTLE CAKES ACCORDING TO FAMILY REQUIREMENTS BUT MUST NOT STOP KNEADING ROLLING PATTING ON PAIN OF HAVING HIM ALL FLATTENED OUT
phonemes: baɪ ðɪs fɪlˈɑːsəfi ɪt wʌz hˈɛld ðæt ˈiːtʃ mˈæn kənsˈɪsts ʌv ɐbˌaʊt θˈɜːɾi pˈaʊndz ʌv sˈɑːlɪd mˈæt tˈɜː, wˈɛt ˌʌp wɪð sˈɛvɹəl bˈʌkɪts ʌv wˈɔːɾɚ; ðæt ɪn jˈuːθ hɪz mˈʌðɚ ænd swˈiːthɑːɹt, nˈiːdz, ɹˈoʊlz, pˈæts ænd kˈiːps hˌɪm ɪn ʃˈeɪp, ʌntˈɪl hɪz wˈaɪf tˈeɪks tʃˈɑːɹdʒ ʌv hˌɪm ænd mˌeɪks hˌɪm ˌɪntʊ lˈɑːɹdʒ lˈoʊvz ɔːɹ lˈɪɾəl kˈeɪks, ɐkˈɔːɹdɪŋ tə fˈæmɪli ɹᵻkwˈaɪɚmənts; bˌʌt mˈʌst nˌɑːt stˈɑːp nˈiːdɪŋ, ɹˈoʊlɪŋ, pˈæɾɪŋ, ˌɔn pˈeɪn ʌv hˌævɪŋ hˌɪm ˈɔːl flˈæʔn̩ ˈaʊt.