text_original: The modem reader who sits down to study this master  piece of sarcastic humor must make up his mind not to be too fastidious as to its phrases, or to be too easily offended by any of its strictures.
text_transcription: THE MODERN READER WHO SITS DOWN TO STUDY THIS MASTERPIECE OF SARCASTIC HUMOR MUST MAKE UP HIS MIND NOT TO BE TOO FASTIDIOUS AS TO ITS PHRASES OR TO BE TOO EASILY OFFENDED BY ANY OF ITS STRICTURES
phonemes: ðə mˈoʊdəm ɹˈiːdɚ hˌuː sˈɪts dˌaʊn tə stˈʌdi ðɪs mˈæstɚ pˈiːs ʌv sɑːɹkˈæstɪk hjˈuːmɚ mˈʌst mˌeɪk ˌʌp hɪz mˈaɪnd nˌɑːt təbi tˈuː fæstˈɪdiəs æz tʊ ɪts fɹˈeɪzᵻz, ɔːɹ təbi tˈuː ˈiːzili əfˈɛndᵻd baɪ ˌɛni ʌv ɪts stɹˈɪktʃɚz.