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410,400
Oh yeah. I was watching the game last night with some casual Cowboys fans, and their reason for not liking the Pats was that they cheated.\n\nThey also didn't like the Seahawks though (bandwagon in Austin after their SB), so they were barely watching the game, lol.\n\nFor the casual fan, the Pats are cheaters.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,401
"Enough to break my legs."
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,402
My archaeology professor said he would talk to me about it in his office hours but when I went the room was packed and he escaped out his office window and then found the Holy Grail.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,403
If I were in this situation, my parents would be out of my life. Any contact from them would be answered with a stream of obscenities. But then, I'm in a minority that has no issues with cutting ties to relatives. You can only try so much before it becomes a burden. If these people would rather see you brainwashed tha...
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,404
He is also a Nigerian banker.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,405
It's not too late to back out kid. Regardless of what your recruiter says, the DEP doesn't mean you've enlisted.\n\nSeriously, 5 year Marine talking, if you have the ASVAB scores, go to the Air Force.\n\nIf you still enlist in the Corps (which I'm sure you will, because we're all idiots), just remember this in first ph...
{ "categories": { "harassment": true, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": f...
410,406
Act ridiculous and the audience will come.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,407
If an older ~~women~~ woman who chases younger guys is a 'cougar', then an older man who chases younger guys must be a 'nittany lion'.\n\nEdit: Thank you /u/pyr064 for pointing out my grammar mistake.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,408
I'm not t-t-t-tearing up, it's j-just onions, B-BACA...
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,409
http://i.imgur.com/6jtiI.jpg
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,410
I thought of a 19 year old stripper, but I might be biased.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,411
If this ever happens again, just say, "if I were worried about the exchange of bodily fluids, I wouldn't be with you right now." Then just fuck her brains out.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": true, "violence_graphic": f...
410,412
"Sorry if I came off creepy yesterday. I was preoccupied by some renovations I'm having done to the soundproof part of my basement."
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,413
On a related note: insincere corporate apologies along the lines of "we're sorry if any offence was caused". Indicating that they're not actually sorry for whatever it is they did but only if someone got pissed about it, and thus not actually acknowledging that what they did was wrong.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,414
http://imgur.com/TEG5B
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,415
Where I'm from, we say "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,416
If it was a friend and a girl you'd just ignore your friend and just do your girl talk method.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,417
Drawing comics, apparently.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,418
My SO will go outside and pee on the little tree my male dogs pee on. Only he will pee higher then they can reach. He thinks it drives them nuts. He finds it hilarious. \n\nEdit: words and stuff
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,419
Have you *seen* high school/college girls lately? They're getting bigger across the board as well.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,420
You can use external HDDs for extra storage, via the four USB ports on the console. Article [here](http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/news/30582)\n\n**Edit:** Personally, I feel this is the better move. Many users likely won't have a need for the extra space, and for those that do, this solution is cheaper and more cus...
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,421
Oh good! I thought you meant one of his wives.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,422
My mom tells a story of when I was five and had just learned the word fickle. I was peeing and shouted to my mother downstairs, "The penis is a fickle thing, one moment it is soft and the next moment it is hard!"
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,423
constantly. look up the hashtag mixtape and you'll see hundreds just from today alone. as someone said above it's a crime...
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,424
Can't remember anything strange. All the funny happened in front of the camera.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,425
And now a bunch of white people are going to correct you and say "Grape Drink"...
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,426
What's next, alleging Obama went back in time to coerce Romney into creating Romneycare for Massachusetts, just to use it against him in the election?
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,427
Relax, you are fine. You *thought* you were fired in 1998. \nObviously, you were not fired. They appreciate the job you are doing. \nSince 1998, you have been merely working remotely and sending all completed work to yourname@yourcompany.com for review, as instructed. \nWithout one complaint or comment in over a d...
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,428
They usually pop up in your backyard, as I understand.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,429
He should've gotten one of those big trench coats that people use to conceal another person in cartoons.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,430
Sounds like a really dumb move on that dudes part "hey police, can you catch me if I do this?" "uh.. *No?*"
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,431
I thought it was illegal to hire toddlers.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,432
'Why do you need a gun?'\n\nBitch you threatened to kidnap me and tie me to a tree!
{ "categories": { "harassment": true, "harassment_threatening": true, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": fa...
410,433
That is a pikey not a gypsy
{ "categories": { "harassment": true, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": true, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": fa...
410,434
Thomas Edison beat you to it.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,435
http://i.imgur.com/Bcu91.png
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,436
\>be a mod of /r/gta5 \n\n\> ban someone for a bad joke.\n\nxpost this to /r/subredditcancer
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,437
silk silk silk silk...
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,438
No, I just ran him over with my car.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,439
Every bit of this story is relevant to my interests. Lesbians, naked wrestling with lesbians, pudding...
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,440
Fuck, Brad. I love you, man. You make the world go 'round. It's shit like this that i think about when I'm giving up hope in people. You just gave 3k to a guy you don't know. If you're ever in Ontario, let me know. I'm buying you a beer.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,441
My upvote went to RCT, not the cat - though she is cute.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,442
I work high. Everyday! Best thing ever.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,443
This is the funniest thing I've seen on reddit.
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,444
LOOK AT THE LEASH !! IS HE GONNA SMITE HER ?
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,445
Aww... This whole thread is just so cute!
{ "categories": { "harassment": false, "harassment_threatening": false, "hate": false, "hate_threatening": false, "self_harm": false, "self_harm_instructions": false, "self_harm_intent": false, "sexual": false, "sexual_minors": false, "violence": false, "violence_graphic": ...
410,446
Wonder what would of happened if he had someone murdered on stage instead
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